Christmas Beautiful
by EpicallyObsessed
Summary: Kendall Knight was expecting a relatively simple Christmas, but when he runs into the man who should have been just a fling, things suddenly become very complicated. As much as he wants to grab onto the second chance presenting itself with both hands, he doesn't just have himself to think about anymore. Will a Christmas miracle bring everyone together? Slash.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello everyone! Yep, another new story is here!**

**So, I had so much fun with the Christmas story I wrote last year, that I decided to do it again! This chapter is more of a prologue, but I'm looking forward to sharing more of this one with you and I hope you all enjoy!**

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_December 2013_

A cold wind rushed down the street, sending dead leaves scraping and skittering down the sidewalk. Kendall lifted his shoulder, turning his face into the collar of his leather jacket. The temperature wasn't that bad for Cincinnati, but the damn wind had him wishing he'd at least grabbed a knit hat or something.

Stepping to the side, out of the main foot traffic, he lifted his arm so that he could see the face of his watch in the light from the restaurant front. Twenty minutes till eight. He was early. Really early. Which was sad, considering he didn't want to be there in the first place.

Stephanie was nice and pretty. They'd met only one time but hadn't actually talked since they'd had half a table between them at Dustin's birthday dinner. Kendall had agreed to meet Stephanie for a drink simply to get Dustin off his back about needing a night off from the job.

A group of people came down the sidewalk, laughing and talking all at once, and Kendall stepped back even farther, pressing his shoulders into the old brick of the restaurant behind him. None of them seemed to notice him. The women were balanced on high heels and looked half-frozen in their little dresses while the men appeared as if they'd come from work in their collared shirts and slacks.

Kendall fought the urge to look down at his jeans to check for a grease stain or tear. There wasn't one of either. He'd taken more than an hour after closing the shop to wash and groom so that he felt less like a dirty bum. But this wasn't his part of town and he should have said as much to Stephanie when she selected Mount Adams. Trendy and overflowing with young professionals fresh from their office jobs. He preferred a little blue-collar hole in the wall that specialized in beer and maybe a little whiskey. This area..._ugh_. He was out of his element.

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket, Kendall forced himself not to walk back to his car and leave. A loud, hearty laugh echoed down the street and Kendall jerked his head up to see a tall brunet man walking next to another dark-haired man. The brunet smiled at his companion and gave his shoulder a small shove, rocking the other man over a step. He laughed again while his friend shook his head, and Kendall's heart skipped a fucking beat.

The brunet was...stunning. Broad shoulders and narrow waist, all wrapped in a nice suit. Despite being early winter, he had a tan like he was just back from some sunny spot on the West Coast or maybe a vacation on a tiny island in the Caribbean. His perfect smile spread full lips on a sharply chiseled face.

His friend wasn't bad looking either, but the brunet was like golden sunlight cutting through the gray night. He'd noticed attractive men in the past. He'd even wondered a few times-okay, several times..._a fucking lot_-over the past couple of years what it might be like to kiss, to touch, to taste a man. But it had always been a faceless wondering. Now he had a face. A body.

The stranger looked over at Kendall and for a moment, their eyes locked. His steps slowed and his grin grew wicked until Kendall could feel his cheeks heating. Holy fuck, this guy was sexy as sin. And then he walked right into his friend, breaking their eye contact.

Even from across the street, Kendall could hear the brunet's friend wanting to know what was going on. The brunet looked over at Kendall and broke out into laughter. Kendall chuckled, enjoying the boost to his ego as well as the fact that the guy could laugh at himself.

As soon as he stopped laughing, the stranger winked at Kendall then disappeared inside the bar. The gay bar.

Kendall stared at the door, fighting the pull to follow the man inside. If this had been a woman, he wouldn't have even fucking hesitated. Definitely not after that wink. So why was he hesitating now? It was all the same, right? Attraction was attraction. Man or woman shouldn't matter, right? He was an adult. Single. Had his own business. An apartment. Bills. He could talk to whomever he wanted. Fuck whomever he wanted.

And that was where it got complicated.

He'd never even kissed a guy before, let alone fucked one. He didn't know...Kendall scrubbed a hand over his jaw, shaking himself from that swirl of worries. He was panicking over nothing. He wasn't going to fuck Hot Guy. He was waiting for Stephanie. Dropping his hand from his face, he glanced at his watch. He still had eighteen minutes until she was supposed to show up.

Maybe he could stop into the other bar for a quick drink. Get out of the cold wind while he waited, and if he _happened _to see Hot Guy, maybe he could say hi. Nothing wrong or different about any of that. He'd done that before.

Kendall found himself halfway across the street before he even finished convincing himself it was a good idea. He ignored the tremor in his hand as he grabbed the handle and pulled the door open. His steps were fast as he crossed the threshold-no backing out. It was just a bar.

A bar full of men...and it felt like all of them turned at once to look at him as he entered. His stomach twisted and churned uncomfortably. There was a growing pressure in his chest. It was panic. He knew it was panic-even though it felt like he was having a heart attack-and he didn't have a damn thing to panic about. Just that he was in a gay bar...looking for a guy...for the first time in his life. Yeah, that was a good sign he was bi, but this really wasn't a good time to start worrying about those deeper questions regarding his sexuality and society. It was a good time to grab a drink and just go with the flow.

He sidled inside, trying not to think about the assessing looks and headed straight for the bar. The place was packed, even for a Friday night. The music wasn't overwhelmingly loud, but he didn't recognize it.

Grabbing the edge of the bar, he ordered a beer the second the bartender looked at him. His plan was to suck down that beer to take the edge off his nerves and then maybe he could gather the courage to look around for Hot Guy while he nursed a second.

Glancing over, he found a man with blue and green spiked hair smiling broadly at him as if he could clearly see how nervous Kendall was.

"You look like you could be all kinds of fun." The man drawled in a heavy southern accent before heaving a dramatic sigh.

"Matt!" A loud voice called before a hand clapped on his shoulder. There was no stopping his entire body from tensing up, but at least he didn't take a swing at the person. Kendall turned to find Hot Guy standing behind him, a wide grin on his face. Before Kendall could say anything, he continued, "D and I have a table already. Come on over." The man then looked at the bartender, ordering a round of shots before leading Kendall through the crowd.

As they stepped away from the bar, Kendall could have sworn he heard some grumbling coming from behind him, but he ignored it and picked up his pace to keep up with Hot Guy.

"You know I'm not Matt and I have no idea who D is, right?" Kendall said, leaning close to the stranger as they walked toward the high-top table in the far corner of the bar.

"Yeah, but even from across the room, I could tell you were inches away from either puking or walking right back out. And I'd rather not let either of those happen," He replied, winking at Kendall.

The answering flutter in Kendall's stomach had him once again feeling grateful that he'd come into the bar. At the table, the dark-haired man introduced himself as Dak Zevon, while Hot Guy was James Diamond.

Kendall settled on a stool at the table with his back in the corner, giving him a good view of the rest of the bar and his two companions while he sipped his beer. For a second he wondered if James and Dak were a couple, but he only had to watch them for a couple of minutes to see that they were good friends. Even for someone just figuring things out, he could see that there was nothing sexual between them.

The two men seemed content to keep up a steady stream of commentary, joking about their day and other random bits of nonsense. Kendall added a little here and there, but neither man pressured him to talk, as if they were content to let him drink his beer and get settled again.

Nearly fifteen minutes passed before James turned his bright hazel eyes back on Kendall.

"So...I'm guessing that this is your first time in a gay bar?" James asked, a wide grin set in place.

"Not quite," Kendall responded. He'd been inside a gay bar once before, but it was with a group of friends, some of whom were gay while others were just there for some fun. He'd thought he'd fallen into the latter category. "I've been to one other."

Dak tipped his glass toward James and smirked. "This really is the Fisher-Price 'My First Gay Bar' of gay bars in Cincy. Very low key."

"Not a single set of assless chaps in sight," Kendall joked.

James snorted. "If that's what you're looking for, I can take you to a few choice spots around the city…"

"I'm good," Kendall chuckled as he drained the last of his beer, catching a glimpse of his watch. It was eight. He had to meet Stephanie. "Actually, I've got to get going."

"What? No, you just got here," James countered.

"Yeah, you're finally relaxing and acting like a human being," Dak added.

"Well, I'm supposed to be meeting someone across the street at Park Tavern. She should be there by now."

"Stop!" James grabbed Kendall's shoulder as he started to stand and leaned close. The man was a couple of inches taller than Kendall, and it would have been so easy to just lean in and find out exactly how soft his lips were. God knows he'd spent the better part of the past fifteen minutes wondering just that. "Not only did you follow a man into a gay bar for the first time...but you were also meeting a woman for a date, too?" He didn't even wait for Kendall to confirm it. He jumped off his stool and threw his arms up in the air, making the sound of a crowd's applause as if he were the greatest thing since sliced bread.

"Fuck," Dak muttered before downing the rest of his drink. "He's going to be insufferable for the rest of the night."

Kendall chuckled but pushed to his feet as well. Once he'd relaxed, he'd enjoyed shooting the breeze with James and Dak. The two men seemed as different as night and day. Dak was quiet and prone to sarcasm when he did speak, though Kendall had seen sparks of a bright sense of humor that he kept under tight wraps, almost as if he did it to annoy James.

And then James was full of easy laughter and teasing-a stark contrast to the idea that this man was a serious corporate lawyer. The truth was that he'd rather hang out and drink with James and Dak…

"I really need to go."

James dropped back onto his stool, blocking Kendall's easy exit from behind the table. "Is she your girlfriend?"

"No, she's a friend of a friend. He set me up," Kendall groaned, rubbing the back of his hand across his chin. "He's complaining that I'm not getting out enough. Says I need a break from work. I just agreed to get him off my back."

"Then stay. She's probably not there yet."

"You can't use that old excuse, 'women are always running late.'"

"My friend Lucy is constantly late," James said, putting his hand up as if he were swearing in court. "Dak's sister is, too." He added, to which Dak rolled his eyes in response.

"I'll stick around for one more beer." Kendall conceded as he sat back down.

At the same time, a server came over with three shots that Kendall couldn't identify and placed them on the table while James ordered another round of drinks for them. He tossed back one of the shots, enjoying the burn down his throat and into his chest. The edge of his anxiety was starting to unravel and the shot would go a long way to getting rid of the last of his nerves.

He leaned back on his stool, resting his shoulders against the wall. People laughed and talked, oblivious to their table in their corner of the world. There was a tiny dance floor and a few men were moving to the thumping bass. But for the most part, people were simply drinking and talking and having a good time.

James slipped off his stool, putting his hand just above Kendall's shoulder as he leaned in.

"Look, you can go across the street and flirt your way to a sure thing. With that face and body, I know you've had plenty of sure things in your life." James paused and let his heated gaze skim down Kendall's chest to his crotch where his dick throbbed in answer. Licking his lips, James lifted his eyes back to Kendall and smiled. "But you came in here tonight, which means you're looking for something different, maybe something that's not a sure thing."

A slow grin spread across Kendall's face and James was standing just close enough that he could hear the hitch in the man's breathing. At least he wasn't the only one turned the fuck on. "Are you saying you're not a sure thing?"

From the other side of the table, Dak snorted and softly laughed. James rolled his eyes. "For you? Yeah, I'm a sure thing. But I'm going to make you work and sweat harder than you ever have before. Sounds like fun, right?"

Considering that Kendall found himself on the fast track to being rock-hard with just a look, he had to admit that it did sound pretty damn fun. But before he could even comment, James jerked back, one eyebrow lifted. "Too strong?"

Without letting himself think about it, Kendall reached out and put his hand on James' side, his thumb rubbing across the hard muscles of his stomach that seemed to tighten at his touch. "Nope. Not too strong at all."

In an instant, the heat returned to James' eyes, scorching Kendall, leaving him sure that he was going to find out exactly how James' lips felt against his and more, when James took a step back and winked as he sat on his stool again. Kendall's hand fell to his side and he immediately missed the feel of those muscles under his fingertips.

"Call your friend and tell her you can't make it," James said.

With a smirk and a small shake of his head, Kendall pushed to his feet and wove his way back to the entrance. Once outside, he grabbed his phone and quickly called Stephanie. He hated canceling at the last minute, but once he confessed that he was in a gay bar, she seemed significantly less put out and almost relieved that they hadn't met up.

As he returned to the table, James caught the relief that flickered across James' face before he could stop it. Honestly, it hadn't even crossed his mind to not come back in, to leave James sitting with Dak, never to see him again. It just wasn't even an option.

They fell into easy conversation as if nothing had just happened. James kept ordering drinks, but Kendall kept turning them down. Definitely no more shots. He sipped his beer and laughed at James and Dak's comments. He was going to have to call Stephanie the next day and explain why he'd missed their date. He hoped she'd understand, but James had made a good point. He'd followed a _man _into a _gay bar _like he was the goddamn pied piper. If that wasn't a clear sign that he shouldn't be on a date with her then nothing was.

More than an hour later when Dak stepped away to go to the bathroom, Kendall finally got the courage to reach out and slide his hand along James' jaw, turning the man's handsome face toward him. There was no missing the shiver that went through James at the contact and Kendall loved his reaction-that he'd caused it.

"You don't have to get me drunk to convince me to get in your pants," Kendall said in a voice that was low enough that it was nearly a growl.

"I thought being intoxicated would make it easier on you," James said, leaning ever so slightly into Kendall's hand like a cat seeking affection, his eyes falling shut.

"But you promised I'd have to work hard for it."

James' eyes flashed back open and the wicked grin returned. "I can make it hard for you."

"I bet you can."

"Show me you want me."

Kendall let his brain shut down and clung to instinct. Grabbing James by the arm, he pulled him off the stool and pressed him against the wall. Standing, he did the one thing he'd been fantasizing about for more than an hour. _God, it felt like a fucking lifetime. _

He kissed him. And not a small, tentative kiss. He dove in, licking across James' full lips until the man groaned and opened, welcoming him inside. James tasted of bourbon and a subtle sweetness that had to simply be James. Their tongues tangled and slid over one another as Kendall learned his mouth, learned the little things that made James moan and whimper.

Kissing a man was familiar and different at the same time. It felt better, but he wasn't sure if it was because he was kissing a man or because he'd wanted to kiss James since he'd first spotted him or because he'd been kissing the wrong women. It didn't matter. He sucked James' lower lip into his mouth and bit down.

Strong hands landed on Kendall's hips, pulling his groin flush against James' so that their erections rubbed against each other even through layers of clothes. They both groaned and Kendall had to fight down the need to come. James shifted his hips, creating even more bone-melting friction.

"My place," James panted, pulling his mouth free of Kendall's. "Will you come with me back to my place?"

Kendall took a small step backward, sucking in deep lungfuls of air. That sounded wonderful, but...it was more than he'd planned. _Fuck_. It was all starting to beat down on him like someone had dumped a bag of hammers on his head. He'd kissed James like he'd wanted to eat him where he stood. And he'd loved every second of it. He was already harder than he'd been in a long time. But James' place meant taking things a hell of a lot further.

"Hey," James said softly, breaking into Kendall's thoughts. James' hand slid up along his jaw, gently cupping the side of his face. Kendall blinked a couple of times, focusing on the other man's worried but smiling face. "It doesn't have to be more than this. We're just having some fun."

"Fun…"

"Just fun. No pressure. We stop when it stops being fun. I promise."

_Yeah, just a little fun..._

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**Done! So, like I said, this was more of a prologue, so next chapter we'll catch up with Kames in the present day!**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed and that you all are having a great week so far! The next chapter of this will most likely be up sometime this weekend, early next week at the very latest.**

**Until then!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back with chapter two of Christmas Beautiful!**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read the first chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, Riku child of Dawn, annabellex2, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing! **

**I loved hearing your thoughts on the first chapter and am glad you all enjoyed it! This one is a little on the longer side, but I hope you all enjoy! :D**

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_Present Day_

Holding the tumbler up, James turned it slightly to the left and then back to the right, letting the colorful lights from the overhead flat-screen TV showing nonstop sports updates reflect off the half-melted cubes.

_Almost like Christmas lights twinkling in the store windows._

His lips twisted at the thought before he threw back the remains of his drink and motioned for the bartender to bring him another round. Over the loudspeaker, a gate attendant announced the final boarding for a flight bound for Fort Lauderdale. With the oncoming blizzard that was supposed to start cutting a huge swath across the country over the next two days, a trip down to South Florida certainly sounded more appealing than the mountains of Colorado, but he knew he wouldn't change his ticket over for a warmer, sunnier location.

With a nod, the bartender dropped off another vodka and tonic water with a hint of a flirty smile. James grunted, not in the mood to play any games. The hangover he'd acquired while drinking with Dak and his fiance Jett the night before was receding. They'd started the evening at Release, the same bar Dak and Jett had met roughly a year ago, before moving on to a few other hot spots around Cincinnati.

Just before dawn, Dak and Jett returned James to his house safe and sound and completely wasted. He loved Dak like a brother and was happy he'd found love with Jett, but the two men could be so sickeningly sweet when they were together-driving James to drink more than usual. He wasn't jealous. It was just that the holiday season was growing more tiresome each and every year, and alcohol was the best at numbing him to the disappointment.

As he lifted the fresh drink to his lips, his cell phone flashed Dak's picture. Smirking, James put his drink back down and answered the call.

"Did you actually make it to the airport?" Dak demanded instead of greeting him.

"Yeah, I'm here, you ass," James replied, swallowing back a chuckle. "I feel like I should be lucky you didn't leave me on my front lawn this morning."

"I considered it, but Jett said that I should at least dump you in the living room."

"It's good to know which one of you has the heart in the relationship."

"I-" Dak broke off as a cacophony of shouting and laughter broke over the line. The man was clearly at his parents' home with the rest of his siblings as well as his new baby niece. Dak laughed at something and then came back to the phone. "Sorry about that. My brother and his wife just arrived."

"Sounds like you've got a full house," James murmured, picking up his glass again.

Dak chuckled. "Always. I just called to make sure you made it to the airport okay."

"Yes, Mom. I made it to the airport with time to spare." He lifted his glass to his lips and took a sip.

"And probably at the bar, nursing that hangover."

James grinned, putting his glass back down. "You know me so well."

"And _you_ know that you can always spend Christmas with me and my family if you need a year off from the annual trek out to Denver."

"I'd never hear the end of it if I skipped," James murmured, ignoring the uneasy twisting in his stomach as he lied to his oldest and closest friend. But Dak didn't need to know his truth. He had his own family distractions and plans to occupy himself. He didn't need to hear James' sob story.

"Okay, but you'll be back in time for the wedding, right?" Dak pressed.

"There is nothing in the world that would keep me from missing that," James said.

"All right. Have a safe trip and a merry Christmas."

"Thanks, same to you, man. Give your family my love."

Ending the call, James put the phone on the bar and picked up his drink again, swallowing it down in one go. He did love Dak's family. His parents were a little nutty but genuine and down to earth. His younger brother was strange but a good guy. And Dak's sister was the sweetest person he'd ever met, but she was also the biggest defender of her older brother. God help anyone who decided to go head-to-head with her over her brother. He'd spent a few minor holidays and attended other functions with Dak's family in the past, but Christmas was different.

That was supposed to be time with your family. And years ago, it had been a wonderful time with his own family. When he was a kid, his parents had purchased a big house up in the Rocky Mountains not far from Denver. Every year for Christmas, they flew out and spent the days between Christmas and New Year's. They'd go skiing, have big dinners, roast marshmallows over the fire, and go into the city for a show.

Of course, the whole thing had been one big lie. Both he and his brother, Shane, had known it was all a lie and that both their parents were horribly unhappy in their marriage, but for one week, they could pretend to be a happy, loving family.

But when James finished law school and his brother was married, his parents finally divorced. His father went on to date one woman after another, all younger than both James and Shane. His mother enjoyed a brief period of independence before she discovered that her divorce settlement wasn't quite large enough to comfortably cover a Fifth Avenue apartment in New York, a house in France, and a private jet. She then started to search for husband number two in earnest-one who had a bank account large enough to cover what she considered the basics of life.

And when they weren't sniping at each other and bragging about their new lives, they were pulling at their children. James had been invited to the Maldives, where his father and his newest girlfriend were spending the Christmas holiday basking in the sun. Meanwhile, his mother had summoned him to New York City, where she was throwing a series of parties. At least Shane had the excuse that he was spending the holiday with his wife and daughter at his in-laws, who just happened to be nice, _sane _people. Shane had even asked him to come and stay with them in Philadelphia.

Of all the invitations he'd received from family, Shane's had been the most tempting. He loved his brother, even if he had the power to get on his nerves much like brothers do, and he adored his niece, Lily. And Shane's wife Rachel was amazing.

But James couldn't do it. He knew if he spent Christmas with one of them over the other, those he'd avoided would feel slighted and he'd never hear the end of it. He didn't need the guilt or the headache. Besides, if he was going to spend the holiday alone, then he was going to do it in the last place he'd been happy over Christmas. Of course, it had been years since any of his family members had stepped foot in the house in the Rocky Mountains that he now owned, but no one else needed to know that.

Frowning, James stared down at the empty glass in his hand, debating whether to order another. He shouldn't. He was going to spend the next several days drinking to get through the holidays. The least he could do was arrive in Denver sober.

A message popped up on the screen of his phone indicating that they'd started boarding his flight, but all he could think about was Dak and his happy family. He was tempted to walk away from the flight and call a car to take him to the Zevon house. He knew exactly how it would go. They wouldn't blink an eye at his sudden appearance. Dak's mother would just wrap him in her arms and tease him about being late for dinner. He was always welcome in the Zevon house, and he knew they truly meant it. Dak would be hurt that James hadn't confided the truth in him about James' family, but then Dak was always looking out for James.

But he wouldn't do it.

He loved the Zevons, but he didn't want to fit in with a friend's family. He wanted his own family. One that laughed and loved each other. One that didn't guilt and manipulate each other. But that wasn't going to happen...at least not anytime soon.

Waving over the bartender, he called for his bill while gathering his things together. His gate was a short distance away, and he needed to start heading in that direction. The bartender leaned against the bar as he signed the check, leaving a nice tip.

"You gonna be back this way after the holidays?" He drawled in a low, warm voice that promised all sorts of wonderfully dirty things.

"Yeah, I'll be back before New Year's for a friend's wedding," James said as he shoved his credit card into his wallet.

"Give me a call. I'll help you start off the New Year off right." James looked down to see that the bartender had left his number on a napkin along with his name-Jake.

With a smirk and a nod, James shoved the napkin into his pocket. Maybe he'd give the guy a call when he was back in town. The guy wasn't bad to look at and had nice, big hands. Maybe he could give 2020 the positive start that he needed.

Tossing his winter coat over his left arm, James grabbed his roller bag with his right and started out of the bar. He paused and glanced down at his phone to double-check his gate number when someone slammed right into him, forcing him to release his bag and stumble several feet to the left to regain his balance rather than tumbling to the dirty industrial-grade carpet that stretched throughout the terminal.

"What the hell-" James started, turning to lay into the idiot who had plowed into him, but the words instantly became lodged in his throat. The man picking himself off the ground looked up at James and his heart skipped a beat. _Kendall. _He hadn't set his eyes on the man in more than five years...not since Kendall decided that he no longer had any interest in fucking James.

"Dude, sorry. I-" Kendall broke off when he looked up to find James standing over him. He paled and swallowed. "James." His voice still had that same tone that could make James' cock hard in an instant.

Clenching his teeth, James extended his hand to Kendall, helping him back to his feet. "You're going to miss your flight."

Kendall stared at him for a second and James tried to ignore the anxious flutter in his stomach as he looked into those green eyes. He had only a couple of inches on Kendall, but it seemed as if the man had gotten more muscular since he'd last seen him. He'd loved the feel of Kendall's body blanketing his as Kendall pounded into him, pushing him down into the mattress. Loved the feel of Kendall wrapped around him long after sex as the sweat cooled and their hearts slowed back down.

Clearing his throat, Kendall jerked his eyes away from James and resettled his backpack on his shoulder.

"Fuck, yeah. Sorry," he muttered. And then he was gone again, charging back into the flow of people as they headed to and from various gates.

James stared after him until he lost sight of him in the crowds of travelers. He was half-tempted to march right back into the bar and get one last drink. It wasn't enough that he was headed out to Colorado to spend Christmas alone, but just for shits and giggles, fate decided to throw his sort-of ex into his path to remind him of the best thing that he'd nearly had but slipped through his fingers.

The gate attendant announced the next group to board his flight and James rolled his eyes. No drink. He needed to get on the damn plane so he could get this holiday over with. Kendall...Kendall was just a strange coincidence. An uncomfortable ghost from his past. He'd forget about him before he touched down in Denver.

Settling his coat back on his arm, he grabbed his roller bag and continued through the terminal to his gate. They were boarding the final group, not that it mattered. He'd gotten a first-class ticket-a little Christmas gift to himself. As he pulled up the electronic ticket on his phone, he stopped. At the front of the line, Kendall handed over his paper ticket to the gate attendant.

He was getting on the same goddamn plane.

_What. The. Fuck._

No...it was okay. They wouldn't be seated next to each other. And they'd never see each other in Denver. Hell, they lived in the same city and had managed to never see each other over a five-year span. There was no way they'd see each other in Denver. James had no intention of leaving his house once he arrived.

_Problem solved._

* * *

He was _not_ going to look again.

After getting settled in his tiny, narrow seat, he looked up to find James standing in the middle of the aisle in first class staring right at him. They were on the same goddamn flight. He nearly dropped his head against his seat and groaned out loud. This whole trip was just getting worse by the minute. He never thought he'd see James again.

It didn't matter.

Except for the fact that he couldn't keep himself from looking down the aisle toward first class, checking for yet another glimpse of the sexy brunet. He'd seen James for only a moment in the terminal, but it had been long enough to notice that the years had been very kind to him. The man was still a brunet-haired, hazel-eyed sex god with full lips and a chiseled jaw. The sweater he wore stretched and hugged his chest and shoulders, tapering to his flat stomach. God, he could still remember every curve and muscle of James' amazing body. He had run his tongue along every inch of him, memorizing every sound he made.

Kendall swallowed a different kind of groan and shifted in his seat, suddenly growing more uncomfortable as the blood rushed to his groin at those wonderful memories. He scrubbed his hand over his face, forcing his mind to the present even as he found himself glancing down the aisle.

The flight attendants were making one last pass through the cabin, collecting trash and checking seat belts as they approached Denver International Airport. He'd not seen James since he'd taken his seat and Kendall was willing to bet that was the last he was going to see of him.

It didn't matter if he was still insanely attracted to James. It was never going to happen. He had more important things he needed to focus on than the fact that James could still make his breath catch in his chest or cause his heart to speed up.

The first thing he needed to tackle was once again fighting the urge to strangle his ex as she forced him to spend money he didn't have to fly across the country at the last freaking minute during the busiest season. He shouldn't have been surprised. His ex, Jo, has always been like that. When they'd first started dating, her impulsive nature had been fun and adventurous, but after just a few months, her impulsiveness just became selfishness and irresponsibility. She didn't care if he had other obligations or desires. It was all about what she wanted and when she wanted it.

James had been a breath of fresh air after Jo. Yeah, James could be fun and impulsive, but he was also giving and considerate. He understood boundaries and responsibilities.

Rough wind buffeted the plane, causing him to tightly grip the armrest while knocking thoughts of James from his brain. He hated flying, but James had definitely kept his mind off being trapped in a soaring metal coffin for three hours. Glancing out a window, he found that the sky was black while snowflakes sped past the lights on the wing. When they took off from Cincinnati, snow was just starting to cover the ground. The same storm was chasing them across the country. A second storm was supposed to be bearing down on the Midwest. Between the two, it was extremely doubtful he'd be able to get back into the air that night. _Fuck_. He couldn't get stuck in Denver.

The wind picked up, but they managed to touch down safely. As soon as he could, he turned his phone on to find he already had six text messages from his ex, demanding to know if he'd landed, where he wanted her to meet him, and why he hadn't replied yet. Groaning and not caring that several passengers looked at him, he shoved his phone into his pocket and grabbed his bag. He needed to get off the cramped plane and stretch his legs, get a little space before he called his ex to notify her he'd arrived safely.

As he stood, he caught sight of James stepping off the plane, nodding to the flight attendant who smiled widely at him with a bat of her eyes.

_Yeah, you're so not his type, sweetheart, _he thought with a possessive snarl.

After what felt like forever, he made it into the terminal and stopped before stepping into the brisk flow of human traffic. The airport was enormous and he had no idea where he was going.

"Baggage claim?" asked a voice he'd told himself he would never hear again. Kendall turned to his right to find James standing just a few feet away, looking as calm and collected as he always did, while Kendall felt frazzled and utterly out of place.

"Um...yeah," he murmured, though he wasn't entirely sure that was where he was headed. He needed to meet Jo. He hadn't checked a bag, but baggage claim was always close to ground transportation and the parking lots. It was a sensible place to start.

"Come on. It's this way," James said and then led the way into the flow of people rushing to either their gate or baggage claim.

Kendall hesitated for a second. Staying anywhere near James was really stupid, but he still picked up his pace so that he was walking beside James as they cut through the crowds.

"I thought you hated flying," James started.

"Still do," Kendall admitted with a grunt. "I had to come out. Family...thing." It wasn't a lie. It was just far more complicated than he was making it sound, but he was sure James didn't give a shit about how his life had taken a strange and unexpected turn. Or even why he was out in Denver just a couple of days before Christmas, though a part of him was really glad that he was...and it had nothing to do with the brunet god next to him.

"You in Denver for business or pleasure?" he asked just to keep the conversation going.

A dry bark of laughter left James' parted lips. "Neither. It's a...family thing."

Kendall let the conversation die. James had only revealed little snippets of information about his family when they'd been seeing each other, and none of those snippets had been particularly positive. At least Kendall had the hope of getting out of the city soon, where judging by the roller bag James was dragging along, he was going to be stuck dealing with family shit a while longer.

"You still got your shop?" James asked, surprising him after they'd passed several minutes in silence. They were forced to stand close on the train that carried them from the terminal to the baggage claim area. It was three minutes of pure hell and it took Kendall several seconds to focus on what James had asked rather than concentrating on keeping his balance so he didn't fall into the guy when the train stopped.

"Yeah, actually moved to a new, bigger location last year. Hired four more mechanics. Things have been going well," Kendall admitted, enjoying the small swell of pride in his chest. He'd opened his own shop the same year he'd started seeing James. It had been relatively small with only two bays and two other mechanics on staff, but he managed to build a strong reputation as being fair and honest. With the expansion, he was able to take on some special projects that took longer and cost serious money, but customers left happy.

"That's good. You ever get rid of Beau?"

Kendall nearly stumbled at James' question. He remembered his bitching about Beau? The man had been a great mechanic when he could get him to show up.

"Yeah, let him go a few years ago."

"Good."

"What about you? Still lawyering?"

"I'm still a suit," James snapped, making it sound like Kendall had some kind of issue with James' profession. Sure, he had never been a huge fan of lawyers and certainly didn't understand the kind of shit that James waded through each day, but he'd had no problem with what James did for a living.

Kendall started to say as much when he felt his phone vibrating in his back pocket. Growling, he grabbed the phone and swiped it with his thumb, not bothering to look at the caller ID. He didn't need to.

"Where are you?" Jo demanded as soon as he answered. No 'Thanks for flying out at the last minute.' No 'I'm sorry to cause you this great inconvenience.'

"I just got off the plane and I'm walking toward baggage claim."

"Okay. I parked in short-term. We'll be there in a few minutes."

"What do you mean? You're coming here? I thought I'd meet you. Grab a hotel for the night."

"Why? You said you were getting a flight right back out."

"There's a goddamn blizzard hitting Cincinnati as we speak, Jo. If they haven't shut down the airport yet, they're going to within the next hour. They've probably already canceled my flight."

"I'm sure you're exaggerating. Cincinnati doesn't get that kind of snow."

"Jo-"

"We'll be there in less than five minutes."

She hung up before he could argue with her. He was tempted to immediately call her back, but he knew that she'd just ignore the call if she didn't want to talk to him.

"Fuck," he snarled low under his breath as he shoved his phone back into his pocket.

"Family?" James asked, reminding Kendall that he was still there, though he hadn't a clue as to how the fuck he'd forgotten he was looming over him. He caught a speculative look in his hazel eyes and then they were emotionless again as if James couldn't care less that Kendall was even breathing, let alone that a single woman was turning his life upside down on a fucking whim.

Kendall grunted, effectively ending all conversation. He didn't want to discuss Jo. Hell, he didn't even want to deal with her, but there was no avoiding that.

As they reached the baggage carousels, Kendall stopped walking while James continued on to where the bags from the Cincinnati flight would appear. He kept his back to the man while he looked up and down the open area, searching for a glimpse of the lithe blonde he'd briefly dated. Pulling out his phone, he checked to make sure he hadn't missed another call or text from her.

"Daddy!"

That excited cry in the voice he knew so well jerked his head up and sent his heart racing. Okay, so she totally made the long flight and hassle worthwhile. He smiled to see the little girl in the bright blue puffy coat and blonde curly hair racing through the crowd toward him.

Kneeling down, he opened his arms and she ran straight to him. He lifted her up, sending her into high-pitched giggles, and for the first time in days, everything felt right again.

"There's my Speed Racer," he said, hugging her tight. Damn, it felt good to have her back in his arms. He thought he'd enjoy the short break when Jo came up with the idea of having Elizabeth come out with her for two weeks during Christmas. He thought he'd get caught up on some work, maybe go out and get laid one night. No, his daughter had been gone for all of four days and all he did was sit around the house when he wasn't at work and miss her.

The little girl pulled back so that she could look Kendall in the eye. "Mommy said that you missed me bunches."

"Bunches and bunches," he said.

"She said you missed me so much that you came to get me."

Kendall struggled to hold on to his smile when all he wanted to do was strangle his ex. Lizzy had been over the moon with the idea of spending two weeks with her mother. He didn't want her to think he was the reason she was coming home early. But he also couldn't tell his daughter that she was being sent home because her mother was tired of playing mom and wanted to run off to spend Christmas in LA with her new boyfriend.

"Did you have a good visit with your mom?" Kendall asked, changing the subject. The little girl's adorable face crinkled up and she shrugged one shoulder. Yeah, Kendall could guess that Elizabeth spent most of her days in front of a TV or entertaining herself.

Kendall looked up to find Jo glaring at him as if the timing of his plane landing was his fault. She closed the last few feet separating them and held out the small pink roller bag covered in princesses and Transformers.

"All right," Jo said. "Here's her bag. I've got to go. We have to get on the road now."

"Wait!" Kendall snapped. He put Elizabeth on the ground and quickly looked around. Speed Racer, can you go sit on that bench right there and wait for me? I gotta talk to your mom for a moment."

Elizabeth nodded and then ran directly over to the bench he'd pointed at. When Kendall looked back up at his ex, it was to find that she'd taken several steps back from him as if she were trying to make a run for it, hoping that he'd forget about her completely.

"How can you just leave her like that? There's no way we're flying out tonight," he snapped, trying to keep his voice down because he really didn't want his daughter to see them arguing. For the most part, he managed to shield her from the dysfunction of his relationship with her mother.

"Then you'll just have to get a hotel for the night or maybe you can camp out in the airport. Lizzy loves camping out with you."

"It's two days before Christmas," he snarled, fighting to keep from shouting. "The hotels are going to be booked up."

"You'll figure it out. Chris and I have to get on the road right now."

"Can we at least use your apartment for the night?"

Jo bit her bottom lip and looked back over her shoulder as if she expected her boyfriend to suddenly appear. "Nooo...I don't think so. Chris wouldn't be comfortable with that."

Kendall opened his mouth to shout and then slammed it shut again. His daughter would _not_ see him shouting at her mother in the middle of an airport just before Christmas, no matter how much this woman provoked him.

"Fine," he said when he could get control of his temper again. "I've got it. Do you want to at least hug your daughter before you leave?"

"Oh, I hugged her in the car." Jo lifted her hand and waved at the little girl. "Bye, Sunshine! Merry Christmas!"

Kendall turned to see his daughter stand on the bench and boisterously wave her arm back. "Bye, Mommy! I love you!"

When he looked back, Jo was already briskly walking back through the crowd, heading for the short-term parking garage. He clenched his fists at his sides, trying to get his rage under control. He needed to focus, to figure out what the fuck he was going to do. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he found that he'd already received a text informing him that their flight back to Cincinnati had been canceled. He needed to find someplace safe for them to stay, but safe was going to be fucking expensive.

"If you decide to strangle her, I am willing to testify that it was entirely provoked," James said. Kendall looked up to find that the man was standing directly beside him. A smirk toyed on his lips, but he quickly crushed it. He had bigger things to worry about.

"Thanks, but I think I'll pass this time," he muttered as he pulled up an app on his phone to start searching for a hotel. Maybe they'd just have to stay for the night and they'd be able to get a flight out the next day.

Small feet scampered across the floor and stopped next to Kendall, drawing his attention from his phone. "Daddy, can I ride on that?"

Kendall looked over to where she was pointing and nearly laughed. "No, Speed Racer. That's just for people's bags. Not little girls."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep," he said, turning his attention back to the app. There had to be an opening somewhere in the city that wasn't going to cost him a month's wages.

"You're not going to find a hotel. It's Christmas and you're not the only stranded traveler," James said.

Kendall looked up at the man, ready to let his temper fly. Jo had already pushed him too far and now worry was beating down on him. He would not let his daughter sleep in some fleabag motel, even if it was only for the night. She would be safe at all times. But whatever he was going to say never left his tongue when he saw the same concern in James' eyes as he watched the little girl spinning around just a few feet away from him.

"You can stay with me," James suddenly declared. "At least until you can catch a flight out."

"No!" Kendal said without thinking, letting a different kind of panic drive him. He couldn't, _wouldn't_ sleep under the same roof as James Diamond again. James raised one eyebrow at him as if the man knew that his refusal was based on their past rather than any kind of actual logic. "I...we can't. Your family...thing."

"Do you have another option? A better one?" Kendall didn't respond because he couldn't. "Look. I'm going over there to pick up the rental car. When I get back, you can either join me or go with your better option. I don't really care either way." With both bags in tow, James stiffly walked over to the rental car counters, never looking back at Kendall or his daughter.

He tried searching on the app for another couple of minutes but he wasn't finding anything he'd be comfortable staying in with his daughter and nothing was affordable.

"Daddy, are we going on a plane tonight? Mommy said we were."

"Not tonight. There's too much snow back home."

"That's good. I'm hungry. Can we get dinner soon?"

Kendall checked the time and fought the urge to curse his ex yet again. It was after eight. "Did Mommy not get you dinner?"

"Nope. I had cereal this morning and an orange, but I didn't eat all the orange cuz Mommy doesn't know how to cut it up right and my fingers got all sticky." She held up her hands to her dad and moved her fingers as if they were still sticky. Elizabeth had no problem getting dirty, but she hated having sticky fingers.

Kendall rubbed his hand over his face. Exhaustion suddenly weighed down on him, trying to drive him straight through the hard floor of the airport terminal. He'd been fighting and arguing with Jo for nearly twenty-four hours when she suddenly decided he needed to fly out and fetch their daughter, completely changing plans she'd made more than two months ago. All he wanted was to know that his daughter was safe before he collapsed...anywhere. A bed would be nice, but he'd even take a floor at that point.

"Are we ready to go?" James suddenly asked from behind him.

Kendall's shoulders slumped. What choice did he have?

"Um...yeah…"

"We can be grown up about this. You need help. I've got room to spare. It's not a big deal," James said evenly. He made it all sound so easy, but it wasn't.

"It _is_ a big deal," Kendall said sharply and then sighed, looking over at the man who had haunted his nights far more than he wanted to admit. "It is and I'm really grateful. So...thanks."

"You're welcome."

Taking in a deep breath, Kendall put his hand on Elizabeth's small shoulder, turning her toward James. He did the one thing he thought he'd never have to do.

"James, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Elizabeth. Lizzy, this is Mr. Diamond. He's letting us spend the night at his house until we can catch our flight home."

As she'd been taught, she extended her tiny hand up to James and smiled shyly at him. "Hello, Mr. Diamond."

But it was James' look of complete shock and then something so gentle in his eyes that struck Kendall down to his core. James very carefully took his daughter's hand and shook it.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Elizabeth. I am very glad to have you and your dad staying at my home."

After everyone was settled, James started leading the way out. Elizabeth quickly skipped after James, leaving Kendall to grab her bag and trail after them. He watched his daughter keep up a steady stream of conversation, peppering James with questions about his house and Denver and so many random things that he couldn't begin to guess at how her mind zipped off to these unexpected corners and then back again.

He made three attempts to try to distract his daughter. Her boundless energy could be a bit much for anyone who wasn't around kids regularly, but both Elizabeth and James ignored him, keeping up their conversation so that he was left to sit alone on the bus on the ride to pick up the rental car, nearly dozing in his seat until Elizabeth woke him.

But even in his growing fatigue, he couldn't help but envy the natural way she had with people. She could charm even the most sour person with her smile and sweet manner. When he'd ended his brief relationship with Jo years ago, he'd thought he'd never be so happy to be free of someone, that nothing good could ever come out of being with her. But then he'd been blessed with Elizabeth. No, she hadn't been part of his plans, but she made his life better in countless ways, and he would do everything in his power to protect her.

* * *

**Done! So, quite a few revelations this chapter!**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment! **

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter will more than likely be up around Wednesday, so there won't be too long of a wait for that!**

**Until then!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Welcome to another chapter of Christmas Beautiful! :D**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to RainbowDiamonds, winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, and Teddybear no1 for reviewing! **

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

_January 2014_

_James licked mustard off the side of his finger before taking another bite of his ham and cheese sandwich. He was sitting on the counter in Kendall's kitchen, the navy flat sheet from the bed wrapped loosely around him like a toga, and he honestly couldn't think of a time when he'd been happier. Kendall leaned against the counter opposite him, wearing only a pair of black boxers, his sandwich half-gone already. This was just a pit stop-refueling before they returned to the bed and fun._

"_Damn, this is really good," Kendall said around a mouthful._

_James smirked at the surprise filling Kendall's partially muffled words. "Why are you so surprised? I'm good at more than just blowjobs."_

"_You're amazing at blowjobs." Kendall reached over and grabbed his bottle of water. He took a long swallow before shoving the rest of his sandwich in his mouth._

"_I can be amazing at two things."_

_With a chuckle, Kendall shook his head. "Fine. You are the king of blowjobs and sandwiches."_

_James gave a regal bow of his head. "Thank you."_

"_I guess sandwiches were just plain and boring when I was growing up." Kendall picked up his bottle of water again but just turned it around in his hands as if he needed something to fill them. "I got sick of them for years after my mom packed a whole cooler full for our summer road trip to the Grand Canyon."_

_James set his sandwich in his lap, forgotten as he became wrapped up in Kendall's story. They didn't talk a lot about their pasts, but James couldn't help getting lost in the sound of Kendall's voice when he spoke. _

"_You drove the whole way?"_

"_Two weeks in the car. Just me and my mom. She wanted to see the West, but she needed to save money for gas and motels, so she packed this big cooler of lunch meat sandwiches. We ate those for most of our meals. By the time we reached the Grand Canyon, I was so sick of ham and turkey. I didn't touch it for years after I moved out on my own."_

"_Wow...I can't imagine being in a car for that long."_

_Kendall cocked his head to the side a little. "No road trips growing up?"_

"_Nope. We didn't do a lot of family vacations. Mostly just Christmas in Colorado, and we flew there." James snorted as he tried to imagine his parents locked in a car together for more than an hour. "My parents would have killed each other before we got more than a hundred miles." James tensed when he realized what he said, waiting for the inevitable teasing that always came from others when he let it slip that he'd grown up with money._

_Pushing away from the counter, Kendall walked over to James and spread his knees apart until he could stand between James' legs. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to James' bare chest, letting his teeth lightly scrape along his skin. Goosebumps broke out across James' arms and he locked his ankles at Kendall's ass. With his right hand, Kendall pulled the sheet from where it had been tossed over his left shoulder, revealing the rest of his chest. Kendall kissed and nibbled his way across the expanse of bare skin, pausing to swirl his tongue along James' nipple._

_Blood rushed to James' groin and he shifted on the edge of the counter, trying to get a little closer to Kendall. He fucking loved this. Every time Kendall touched him it was like lightning streaking through his bloodstream. His entire body came alive. It didn't even have to be sexual-though that was absolutely fabulous. Kendall could touch his arm and nerve endings instantly tingled, coming alive after years of lying dormant, waiting for this man._

"_Road trip could be fun," Kendall murmured, his five o'clock shadow scraping over James' pec._

"_You and me in a car together for hours," James said ending in a hiss as Kendall lightly bit down on his opposite nipple. "So much road sex."_

_Kendall huffed a soft laugh. "Fucking in all fifty states."_

_James dropped his sandwich on the counter and threaded his fingers through Kendall's hair, holding his head captive against his chest. He shifted his hips forward, rubbing his hard cock against Kendall's abs. "Then I put your ass on a plane and we fuck our way through the territories. Guam, Virgin Islands…"_

_A loud moan tumbled past James' parted lips as Kendall bit down hard on his pec muscle._

"_You done eating?" Kendall asked in a near growl. James looked down at Kendall's uplifted face, his eyes dark with hunger. He managed a nod, lost in all that heat. "Good." Kendall's hands tightened on James' ass, sliding him off the counter. "I need you."_

* * *

After stopping through a fast-food drive-thru, Lizzy dozed off in the seat next to Kendall. He hated her not having her booster seat, but he felt better having an arm wrapped around her, holding her tucked against his chest to protect her while James easily drove through the light snow out of the city and into the mountains. They didn't talk on the drive and James didn't seem to mind.

Unfortunately, as James parked in the driveway, Lizzy awoke and was ready to explore her new surroundings, marveling at the shiny windows in the headlights of the SUV and the way the snow sparkled on the evergreens. Kendall should have known that James' house wasn't just some cabin in the woods. Even in the darkness, he could tell that it was a huge, two-story house with giant windows looking out over the mountains.

He knew that James grew up with money. In the months they spent together, James would unintentionally slip as he told some childhood story, but he definitely wasn't the type to flaunt it or rub it in Kendall's face. When together, they are almost always in Kendall's tiny, crappy apartment and James never once batted an eye at it.

But with Lizzy beside him, this felt different, uncomfortable. He was faced with all the things that he couldn't provide his daughter. And it hurt.

"We can get Elizabeth settled first. I'll come back out for my bags later," James said before slipping out of the car, breaking Kendall from the dark swirl of thoughts.

Kendall started to respond, but James was already gone. He drew in a deep breath and helped Elizabeth to unbuckle her seat belt.

"Remember, Speed Racer, we're guests in Mr. Diamond's home. You must be on your best behavior and obey his rules."

Lizzy managed to give him a distracted nod and then she was out of the car too and charging up the stairs to the front door. Apparently, he was the only one who thought this was a horrible idea.

Grabbing his bag and his daughter's, he followed them up to the house where James was already flicking on the lights. The first floor was a huge open design. A living room with a massive fireplace took up most of the space, then a dining room with a table large enough to seat ten before going to a kitchen. He could have fit his entire apartment in the living room alone.

Closing the door behind him, Kendall slowly walked into the house, listening for others, but he heard only the sounds of Lizzy's excited questions and James' patient answers. If James was in town to spend the holiday with his family...then where was his family?

"I'll take the master bedroom down here. There are other bedrooms upstairs. I'll let you and Lizzy choose which one you want," James said, motioning toward the staircase that stretched up to the second floor that overlooked the living room.

"What about your family? I thought-"

"It's just us," James said quickly, cutting off Kendall's comment as he turned back to the kitchen. "Why don't you and Lizzy get your stuff put away? I'll see what we have to eat."

Kendall watched as his daughter charged across the living room and up the stairs, slightly stunned that she still had that kind of energy to burn. Of course, he knew she was going to crash as soon as she sat still for any length of time. For now, the newness of it all was keeping her occupied, and she wasn't thinking about the fact that it was creeping closer and closer to Christmas. Hell, he was trying not to think about all her gifts still stashed in the neighbors closet because he didn't trust her not to go looking for them when his back was turned.

Shedding his coat, he picked up his bag and Lizzy's in one hand, taking a step closer to the kitchen where James had his back to him as he dug through the pantry. He didn't know what to say to the man. He wanted to ask about his family, ask why the hell he was staying in this big house alone for Christmas, ask if he still lay awake at night and thought about their time together, but none of those questions seemed like a good idea.

As he finally worked up the courage to at least thank him for the help, a high-pitched squeal tore through the quiet house. Kendall jumped and lurched toward the stairs, but was stopped by James' chuckle.

"Sounds like she found Lily's room," James murmured. He turned toward Kendall, a smile spreading across his face and Kendall was struck again at how damn handsome the man was.

Kendall cleared his throat and tore his eyes from James, looking down at the granite counter of the massive island in the center of the kitchen. "Lily?"

Before James could answer, the soft pounding of Elizabeth's feet running back to the stairs drew Kendall's gaze. She stopped at the top of the stairs, her face flushed.

"Daddy! There's a bed with a roof on it like a tent and there's a castle on the wall! Can I sleep in there?"

Kendall's eyes darted back to James who was watching Lizzy with a grin. "You can sleep in there. Lily won't mind."

Elizabeth squealed again and ran back to the child's bedroom.

"A bed with a roof?" Kendall asked.

"Canopy bed," James explained, turning back to the pantry. "Lily is my niece. She's about the same age as your daughter and she's very into princesses."

Kendall nodded even though James couldn't see it. If Lily was James' niece, then why wasn't he spending Christmas with his family? But he didn't ask. He tightened his hands on his stuff and trudged up the stairs to find Lizzy in a very pink room with a child's canopy bed overflowing with white ruffles and little gold tiaras. A castle was painted on one wall with an elegant princess riding a unicorn on another. It was...terrifying.

His daughter was seated on the floor in one corner playing with two princess dolls while at least a dozen others were lined up on a shelf. Acid soured his stomach as he watched her so happy in the large, colorful room. He wished his shop was profitable enough that he could give her this. That he didn't have to pray that she wouldn't get sucked in by the pretty toys and start to resent her normal life.

Kendall forced himself to clamp down on his negative thoughts. He was just exhausted and insecure. Lizzy didn't need a bunch of materialistic crap to be happy. She had a great life with him, and he made sure that she had all the opportunities to learn and experience new things. They were fine. This...this was just a stopover until they got back to their normal life.

"Remember to be very careful with the toys. Those belong to another little girl," Kendall admonished as he set Lizzy's bag at the foot of the bed.

"Oh, I will, Daddy. I'll be very careful." She put the dolls back exactly where she found them on the shelf and then jumped to her feet. "Look!" She ran across the room to a tall bookshelf loaded with children's books. "So many books! You can read me a new story for bed."

Well, the princess overload might have been frightening, but the collection of books was impressive.

"Let's get you dressed for bed and then you can pick out one book for tonight."

Of course, the dressing for bed took several minutes and then there was the added adventure of finding the bathroom, which led to exploring the bathroom before there could be any teeth brushing. And well, one book turned into three because one book was really too short to count and another was needed because Mommy didn't read to her last night and she was owed a book. And then Kendall just sat there, watching his daughter soundly sleeping, her blonde hair spread across the pristine white pillows. In the quiet, knowing that she was safe and happy, it was hard for him to be angry at Jo. He would rather spend Christmas with his daughter than alone, even if they were stuck in Denver with no idea how or when they were going home.

He just wished he knew what to do about James.

* * *

James finally started to breathe again when Kendall went upstairs to find his daughter. He leaned his forehead against the metal door of the refrigerator and closed his eyes. What the fuck was he thinking inviting Kendall to stay in his house?

Well, he was thinking about the little girl with enormous brown eyes and the most adorable smile he had ever seen. That little girl didn't deserve to stay in some worn down motel in a less-than-safe neighborhood just because every other place was booked and her mother was obviously a fucking idiot.

But when he looked at that little girl, he couldn't help but wonder if she was a big part of the reason that Kendall pushed him out of his life. And now that he had Kendall trapped in his house with him, he found that he'd like the truth of why Kendall had shut him out. At least he thought he would.

Except there were a couple of times that he caught Kendall staring at him and James wanted to say to hell with the truth, he'd rather just pin Kendall to the nearest wall and pick up right where they left off.

And why did the man have to look so good? He hadn't seen Kendall in more than five years and he was still sexy as hell. There was still a bit of scruff on his jaw, and his blond hair was a little longer now. James' hands itched to wrap up in it, holding him hostage as he kissed him. He also seemed to have more muscle than he had when he'd last seen him.

Fuck...he really needed to stop thinking about Kendall if he wanted to stay sane while he had company.

James went out to the car and stowed it in the garage before grabbing his luggage. He got it settled in his room and returned to the kitchen only to notice that it had gotten incredibly quiet on the second floor. Either Kendall had managed to get his daughter to sleep or they'd both passed out. If it was the latter, he knew that Kendall wasn't going to stay that way, not when he hadn't had anything for dinner. When James had been with him, he had learned that Kendall had been prone to getting up in the middle of the night and binging on a sandwich or something before dropping back off to sleep.

Making as little noise as possible, he started pulling together all the fixings for a cold-cut sandwich. James couldn't help but shake his head at himself. Over five years had passed and he could _still_ remember exactly how Kendall liked his. There had been more than one time that they'd sat around the kitchen, naked and eating something scavenged from the fridge, before heading back to the bedroom for the next round.

James was grabbing two bottles of water when he heard Kendall's steady footsteps down the stairs.

Well, now he was feeling like an idiot. He was hoping to leave the sandwich covered on a plate for him while he made a hasty retreat to the master bedroom where he could safely hide until Lizzy was awake. The child provided an excellent buffer so that Kendall couldn't ask any uncomfortable questions and James couldn't get any stupid ideas like kissing Kendall until the man was moaning his name.

"Hey," Kendall started as he reached the kitchen.

"I made sandwiches," James quickly said. "Everything is else is frozen, but if you want something else-"

"No, man. That's great. Thanks," Kendall said, grabbing it off the plate that James pushed toward him.

"Does Elizabeth…"

"She's out like a light," Kendall said before taking a big bite of his sandwich. He moaned softly around the mouthful, his eyes rolling back into his head with pleasure.

James had to look away, staring down at his own untouched sandwich. He was just grateful that he was standing in front of the counter because he had little doubt that Kendall would be able to see the fucking wood he was sporting in his jeans.

"You always made the best sandwiches," Kendall muttered before taking another bite. James looked up to see a flush to his cheeks, and he was suddenly refusing to look anywhere other than his plate. Yeah, Kendall's mind had to have went back to all the times they'd eaten together in the kitchen, naked and sweaty and so ready for more sex or just laughing as one of them told a story about work.

James forced himself to pick up his own and take a bite. The lump of meat and bread tried to wedge itself in his throat but he forced it down with a drink of water. His appetite was gone, but he was determined to keep up the facade that nothing was wrong. Kendall had obviously moved on and built a good life without James.

"I want to thank you for helping us," Kendall said when he finished his sandwich. "I really appreciate it. I know that things are awkward and you didn't have to do shit for me-"

"We can be adults about this," James said in a clipped tone. He stopped and tightened his hand on his bottle of water, flinching at the loud plastic crackling in the dead silent room. "We had some fun together and it ended. No big deal. Your life went one direction. Mine went another." James took a deep breath and cursed himself. The only person in the room being an asshole was him. Kendall was just a guy in a bad situation, trying to look out for his daughter. He needed to get his shit together. Straightening, he looked Kendall in the eye and smiled. "We can be friends. Friends help each other out. That's all this is."

"James…" His name sounded like a caress and James felt his smile slip a notch, but he pushed on.

"No, I'm sorry about earlier. We're good. This just kind of threw me for a loop. I wasn't exactly expecting...this."

Kendall snorted, his face breaking into a wry grin that had James' heart skipping.

"Yeah, when I got up this morning, running into you didn't even cross my mind as the craziest thing that could possibly happen on this trip. And trust me, when Jo's involved, that's a big fucking list of crazy."

James nodded, a part of him dying to ask about Jo and Lizzy, but he pushed back the questions burning in his brain. It was better if he didn't know and didn't go digging into Kendall's past.

"I swear, we'll be out of here tomorrow," Kendall said, trying to smooth over the awkwardness that was creeping into the moment.

"Don't worry about it. As you can see, you're not imposing," James said, motioning toward the empty house. He knew he was sounding like an ass again, but this was harder than he thought it would be. "It's been a long day so I'm going to bed. Do whatever you want. I'll see you in the morning and we'll figure this out."

With one last wave at Kendall without actually looking at the man, he crossed to the hall of the living room that led to the massive master bedroom with a private sitting area and bath. It was only when he was behind the closed door that he took a deep, shaky breath. He needed a drink bit all the alcohol was at the small bar in the dining room, and it would mean going back out there to face Kendall. He'd done enough of that already.

Closing his eyes and leaning against the door, he repeated what he told Kendall. He was rattled simply because he wasn't expecting to see Kendall, let alone the man's daughter. Everything felt upside down and backward. After he got a good night's sleep, they'd both feel more grounded and better able to handle this unexpected situation.

It was easy. Kendall was a great fuck. Nothing more. They never had a chance at something. Tomorrow he'd be able to clearly remember that since it seemed impossible to now. He'd help Kendall and Lizzy get home and then he could go back to his original plans for Christmas.

* * *

**Done! So, it looks like things are a little rocky between Kames. You also go a little peek at their time together years ago! There will be a few more flashbacks in future chapters. :)**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! It seems that there is a unanimous dislike of Jo. You may or may not have seen the last of her. :P The next chapter of this will more than likely be up sometime this weekend, so there won't be too long of a wait.**

**Until then! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Welcome back Christmas Beautiful!**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Guest, winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**This one is a long one, but I hope you all enjoy! :D**

* * *

James' first coherent thought as he stumbled out of his bedroom after a restless night of sleep was to wonder why Spongebob Squarepants was on the television. And then he spotted the small blonde head of the little girl seated on the floor at the living room coffee table with a glass of milk and a coloring book.

James immediately turned back around and threw on a sweatshirt rather than wandering through the house in just a pair of sweatpants. He'd momentarily forgotten that he had guests while on his quest for caffeine.

"Good morning, Mr. Diamond," Lizzy called as he returned to the living room, a bright smile spreading across her face.

"Good morning, Miss Lizzy," James said, unable to keep from smiling in return. "Have you had some breakfast?"

"Daddy made me pancakes. Do you want him to make you some pancakes too?"

James shoved aside the sweetly domestic image that started to flash through his brain and held on to his smile when it threatened to slip. "No, I think I'll just have some coffee for now."

"Okay, but my daddy makes really good pancakes," Lizzy called after him, making it sound like she clearly thought he was insane for passing up on Kendall's pancakes.

Grateful that Kendall had made a pot of coffee and left it to stay warm, he poured himself a mug and quickly drank half, relying on the warmth and caffeine to get his brain working again. Feeling a little more awake, he shuffled into the living room while looking around for Kendall.

"Where's your dad?" James asked as he sat on the couch next to Lizzy. He looked down to see her coloring a Christmas-themed coloring book with Transformers.

"He's upstairs on the phone." She paused in her coloring and frowned. "He's really angry."

"Is he angry with the person he's talking to on the phone?" Lizzy nodded and James relaxed a little. He couldn't imagine Kendall being angry with the little girl.

James put his mug of coffee on the table when Elizabeth suddenly jumped to her feet and climbed onto the couch next to him.

"Why don't you have a Christmas tree?"

"I just got here with you and your dad last night. I haven't had the chance to put one up." Of course, that wasn't exactly the truth. The fact was, he never had any intention of putting up a Christmas tree or any decorations. With any luck, Lizzy and her father would be headed back toward the East Coast later in the day and he wouldn't have to dodge her tree questions much longer.

"Does Santa come to this house?"

_Oh shit…_

Now he was getting her line of thought. She was beginning to doubt whether she'd be in her own bed tonight so that Santa could drop off her gifts at the proper location. He glanced over at the stairs again, wondering if Kendall was railing at the airlines rather than his ex.

"Yes," James paused and cleared his throat. "Santa has stopped here several times."

"Okay. Daddy said that it might take us a long time to get home and I don't want Santa to take our presents back to the North Pole if he can't find us." She took a loud gasping breath, her eyes wide and bright. "Tomorrow is Christmas!"

And this little girl wasn't going to miss it.

"It's going to be great." James pushed to his feet. "I'm going to check on your dad and then I need to run to the store."

Lizzy nodded and returned to her coloring and cartoons, clueless as to how much she'd just completely changed James' plans for the holiday. A quick glance out the window revealed that a new blanket of snow covered the world and flurries were dancing through the air. The real storm hadn't moved in yet. He needed to check the weather but last he'd heard, the storm wasn't supposed to hit until the evening. If Kendall and Lizzy's plane didn't take off soon, they weren't getting out of Colorado today.

Charging up the stairs, James slowed when he heard Kendall shouting at some poor airline worker as he tried to explain that her option wasn't any better than the last one as he and his daughter still wouldn't be home in time for Christmas. He found Kendall pacing the spare bedroom next to his daughter's. He was in the same jeans he'd worn the day before and a thin T-shirt that hugged his body just right. The muscles in his bicep flexed as he paced with the phone to his ear. He muttered one last curse and ended the call, looking as if he was about to throw the phone against the wall.

"Talk to me, Ken," James said evenly.

Kendall threw his phone into the twisted covers on the bed and swore loudly, still pacing like a caged animal. He shoved both hands into his hair.

"Fucking snowstorm in Cincinnati last night was immediately followed up with an ice storm this morning. They're expecting to be digging out for the next two days and that's assuming the clear weather holds. The whole area is a mess. The closest they can get me and Lizzy out today is in two hours and that puts us in Jacksonville at 9:30 tonight. From there, we have to drive twelve hours to get home. But with snow and ice covering every pretty much state between Florida and Ohio, it's more likely going to take us eighteen and that's if we drive straight through." Kendall growled as he spun back toward James who was still leaning against the wall beside the open door. "I'm not trapping my daughter in a goddamn car on Christmas Day after spending the day before in a series of fucking airports. But all her presents are back home and I don't want her to think that Santa forgot her and-"

Pushing away from the wall, James didn't let Kendall finish whatever he was about to say as he stepped right up to Kendall and clapped his hand around the back of his neck, pulling him in for a ruthless kiss that stopped Kendall dead in his tracks. Kendall was motionless beneath James' searching lips for only a heartbeat before a full-body shudder rippled through Kendall. His arms clamped down on James, slamming their bodies together. A low moan rumbled up Kendall's throat and James greedily swallowed it down. He was drowning in this man-the heat, the strength, the unbelievable passion that filled every inch of his body.

Opening his mouth, he ran his tongue across Kendall's lips and they instantly parted so that James could dive in. Kendall met him every step of the way, sucking on his tongue, keeping them locked together. Kendall's hands came down and cupped James' ass so that their groins were tightly pressed together-there was no missing the other man's arousal. James was willing to let his heart stop right then and there. Nothing could ever feel better than this moment.

"Daddy?"

That soft voice calling for Kendall had James shoved away so fast that he stumbled several steps to keep from falling on his ass. He was torn between laughing and moaning after seeing Kendall's face go from flushed to pale in a heartbeat. They'd both forgotten themselves and the little princess wandered around the house.

"Yeah, Speed Racer?" Kendall called back. His voice was rough and high. His hands shook as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I need some more milk," Lizzy responded, sounding as if she were still in the living room.

Kendall's shoulders slumped and James couldn't stop from softly chuckling. He'd heard from his brother that kids made an effective cockblock, but he'd never actually seen it in action.

"Okay, baby. I'll be down in just a minute," Kendall said, releasing a heavy sigh of relief. When he appeared to get a handle to himself, he looked at James, but James already had a hand up, stopping whatever words were about to tumble out.

"I'm sorry," James quickly said. "That was my fault. I was trying to get you to calm down and take a breath for a second and it got out of control."

Kendall snorted, a ghost of a smile passing over his face.

"Yeah, because we've never been out of control before," he muttered sarcastically. The truth was that "out of control" was the only way to describe their encounters. They seemed to have a habit of going from zero to a hundred real quick. James grinned at Kendall and the man actually took a step backward. "Don't."

"What?"

"Don't give me that 'fuck me' grin. I've got a daughter downstairs and a holiday to unfuck."

"Really? I have a 'fuck me' grin?" James teased and Kendall rolled his eyes.

"Jay," Kendall warned as he plopped down on the edge of the bed and roughly rubbed his face.

James backed up so that he was on the opposite side of the room, leaning against the door, trying to ignore the warm frisson that swept through him at Kendall's old nickname for him. One of only three people to ever call him that.

"Okay, seriously," James said, his voice hardening just a little as a plan quickly formed. "Trying to leave here today isn't going to work. Aside from the fact that Cincinnati area has been effectively shut down, there's a storm that's about to hit Denver and it's likely going to shut down their airport. You're stuck."

"But-"

"You don't have to leave." James walked toward the center of the room, still wanting to pull Kendall into his arms, but he instead shoved his hands back into the pockets of his sweatpants. "Who are you imposing on here? No one. My suggestion is that I run into town and get some more food for a proper Christmas. Then I will go and get some gifts for Lizzy from Santa."

"But-"

"While I'm gone, you will decorate the house and send me a list of what I need to get as gifts. Pictures would be best."

"_James_," Kendall said, his voice growing stern.

"Do you have a better suggestion? If you do, then by all means, share."

"Look, James, I appreciate it, but Lizzy and me...we're fine. We don't need all this." Kendall said it all calmly, but James didn't miss the way he was opening and closing his fists in growing frustration.

James leaned back against the door, fighting to stay positive when it felt like Kendall was shutting him out all over again.

"It's not charity if that's what you mean. I just want to help you out as a friend. If the positions were reversed you'd do the same for me, right?"

Kendall's mouth opened and closed once before he swore softly.

"I fucking hate arguing with you."

"Yeah, I'm paid big bucks to argue, and you're getting it for free."

"Lucky me."

"Damn straight. Now I've got to get dressed and get out of here. Text me when you start to think of things I should pick up."

James started for the door, but Kendall lunged forward and caught the back of James' sweatshirt, jerking him backward until he fell against Kendall's chest. James froze as Kendall pressed his face into the back of his neck, his hands twisting in the sweatshirt.

"Thank you. I know I don't deserve your help after...after the way I ended things. Trust me, I know. But Lizzy...she's such a good kid and she shouldn't have to suffer because her parents are fuckups."

"There are a lot of things wrong with those statements. And as much as I would love to go through them point by point, proving you wrong, I don't have time."

He could feel Kendall smiling against his neck and it was sending all the blood in his body south again. Fuck, what he wouldn't do for one of Kendall's smiles.

"Is this me winning an argument with you?" Kendall asked, practically purring.

"Hell no. This is me asking the judge to adjourn the session until we have more time for me to take your weak-ass statement apart."

Kendall chucked but released James as he backed away. "Go. I've obviously lost my mind."

James continued out of the bedroom and to the stairs, trying hard not to think about how Kendall felt in his arms, the taste of him, the hunger that burned straight through Kendall and into him. That had _not_ been the touch and kiss of a man who was not interested or uncomfortable with James, so that couldn't possibly be the reason he'd ended their time together. But as he descended the stairs and his eyes fell on the little girl singing along with the TV, he had a growing fear that he was looking at the reason Kendall had pushed him away.

XxX

Snow sucked.

There was no way around it. Snow fucking sucked.

James turned off the engine to the car and immediately slouched behind the wheel. His entire body trembled from exhaustion and was bowstring-taut with tension. The run to the grocery store had taken more than an hour due to the last-minute holiday shoppers combined with those last-minute storm-preppers loading up on milk, bread, and toilet paper. The guy he hired to prep his vacation home had stocked his fridge for the week, but it had been the basics-nothing to suit the palate of a five-year-old girl.

After nearly taking out a little old man for a turkey James wasn't even sure he could figure out how to cook, he headed to the closest toy store...and quickly gave in to nearly every impulse when it came to Lizzy. Kendall had sent him a very specific list with pictures and strict instructions to get just three items. James got everything Kendall sent him and then several things that _weren't_ on the list.

Kendall was going to kill him.

Twisting in his seat, he looked at the huge pile of food and toys, wondering not for the first time what the fuck he was doing. Lizzy wasn't his family. In a day or two, she'd be gone and he would never see her again. And Kendall...Kendall had made it pretty damn clear he didn't want James in his life.

Rubbing his eyes as he flopped back in his seat, he let out a long sigh. He did it because his only happy memories as a child were of Christmas and Elizabeth deserved that. Kendall was doing the best he could despite his self-centered flake of an ex.

The door to the garage opened and James' heart sped up a bit to see the worried expression digging furrows in Kendall's brow. The snow hadn't been bad when he left and the plows were keeping pace, but when he loaded up the toys, the snow had been falling in a thick, white curtain. The thirty-minute drive back to the house had taken him nearly ninety minutes and hadn't been made any easier with Kendall's increasingly frantic texts. He'd only gotten a reprieve when he finally called and explained that reading Kendall's texts and driving in the snow was making his return that much slower.

"Are you okay? What took so long?" Kendall asked.

James choked on a laugh, finally unbuckling his seat belt.

"There was a little snow on the road," he replied, getting out of the car.

"I saw that. Lizzy was getting worried." Kendall stepped into the cold garage and started walking around the rear of the car.

"Where is she?"

"Napping."

Kendall opened the trunk and just stared for a second before turning narrowed eyes on James.

"What the fuck?!" he snarled.

"I wasn't sure what she'd want."

"I specifically said _three toys_. Not...not..._all of this_!"

"I can take anything Santa doesn't deliver back. I just wanted to help."

"Lizzy doesn't need all this materialistic crap! Lizzy and I don't need your help! We're doing perfectly fine without your help! I can raise my daughter alone just fine!"

James bit back his retort that he wasn't questioning Kendall's ability with his daughter. He needed to remember that Kendall didn't want him. The man had made that perfectly clear years ago. James was the idiot who kept trying to force his way into Kendall's life.

"Yeah, whatever you want," he snapped. He stepped up to the trunk and grabbed several bags of groceries before marching into the house, cursing himself with every step.

How fucking pathetic to try to fill up the emptiness in his own life with a man who'd only been too happy to toss him aside. Yeah, he'd known that Kendall was going to be pissed-he'd always gotten pissy when James made a decision involving him without consulting him first. He'd needed this fucking wake-up call.

Quickly and quietly, he put the food away, leaving Kendall to handle the rest of the contents of the car alone. He was just finishing up the last few items when Kendall came in with two more grocery bags but no toys. James clenched his teeth. Was he really so stubborn as to not let his daughter have even one gift?

"Lose the glare," Kendall said as he carefully set the bags on the kitchen counter. "It's better to leave the toys in the car. Lizzy can be hella sneaky when she thinks there's a surprise in the house for her. We can wrap some gifts when she goes to sleep for the night."

James grunted, tamping down the little twist in his stomach at the "we" that had slipped from Kendall. He didn't mean it. He was just trying to smooth things over.

"I've got to get some work done. I'll be out in a few hours to make dinner."

"I got it. You made the run. It's the least I can do."

"Whatever." James walked the long way around the counter to avoid getting too close to the other man.

"James-"

"Don't, Kendall. You were right."

"You know, I don't think you've ever said that to me," he teased.

"I'm nothing to you. Just an easy fuck, remember? It's best if we _both _remember that." James turned and disappeared into the office next to the master bedroom.

It was better this way.

* * *

Kendall fell back against the sink, gripping handfuls of his hair as he stared at the last place he'd seen James. He felt like he was going to be sick. He hated those words. He'd said those horrible fucking words years ago to James, but he never meant them.

After giving him the cold shoulder for more than two weeks, James had tracked him down at the shop as he was closing, demanding an answer as to why he refused to talk to James any longer.

He'd felt trapped. His ex was pregnant with his kid and he had no clue as to how to be a good dad. His shop was balancing on the edge of failure because the business had been too damn slow for too long. How was he supposed to tell this amazing, successful man who had become his only source of happiness that his life was imploding around him?

He wasn't. It was better to cut ties then than destroy what they had somewhere down the line and count the days until James finally stopped calling him.

But he _hated _those words.

He was even more stunned that James remembered them. A part of him wanted to brush it off as James' ego being bruised. Kendall had to have been the one and only guy in James' life to ever reject him.

But a bruised ego after more than five years? Not a chance. Not James.

"Fuck," Kendall sighed. He didn't know what to do. James made him insane. He wanted to throw aside all his worries and carefully laid plans to do whatever crossed James' mind. He wanted smiling, laughing James, always ready for an argument.

Yet that road wasn't safe and he had a daughter to think about. A daughter James had gone out of his way to ensure had a great Christmas while he was being an insensitive ass.

He could do this. He could find a way to strike a happy balance with James, make his daughter happy, and not completely lose his own heart in the process.

Glancing at the clock on the microwave, he did a quick calculation. Lizzy had been asleep only fifteen minutes when James showed up. He'd have at least another half hour before she started to stir and then he'd need to work on dinner. Walking over to the bar in the dining room, he poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them over to the closed office door.

For a heartbeat, he considered knocking but brushed the thought aside as he opened the door. James would have just ignored him or told him to go away and he didn't want to be shut down twice

James was standing behind his desk, staring out the window at the growing darkness and the swirling snowstorm beyond. He looked over at Kendall and then the glasses he held, but his closed expression never changed. He'd been the focus of that cold hazel gaze only once before, and that was when he'd said those horrible words to James.

When the other man didn't speak, Kendall put one of the glasses down on the desk and stood silent for a second, pulling together his courage.

"Social services were called on Jo and me before Lizzy was a year old," he said, bluntly admitting one of the darkest moments in his life. He thought he saw shock widen James' eyes, breaking the emotionless facade, but Kendall quickly looked away. He couldn't face the judgment he was sure he'd see. Hell, he struggled to face himself in the mirror when he thought about that day.

"I was at work. Jo was changing Lizzy and...and she stepped away just for a second to get something...I'm not sure. But Lizzy rolled and fell off the changing table. She fractured her arm and got an ugly bump on her head. Jo freaked. Was afraid to take her to the emergency room, but Lizzy wouldn't stop crying. A couple of hours later, she called me and I rushed over, took Lizzy to the hospital." Kendall took a ragged breath and sucked down half of his drink. Elizabeth had been so small when she was born, and just the idea of her being back in the hospital had terrified him like nothing in the world ever had.

"But she was okay," James gently pressed.

Kendall looked up and found that James' expression had thawed, but he still looked wary and guarded, not that Kendall could blame him.

"Yeah, we went home a few hours later, but then social services came banging at the door the next day. Jo immediately flaked, saying that she didn't know what the fuck she was doing and that she had no support. I just knew they were going to take my daughter, so I pressed for custody that day. I told Jo that I wanted Lizy in my house and that I was taking on the day-to-day role of raising her. She'd have her weekends and holidays."

"Sounds like something Jo would agree to."

Kendall snorted. "Convincing her wasn't the problem." He drank the last of the whiskey, letting the burn warm the inside of him as the old memories tried to steal away the sense of security he'd earned over the years. "It was like the social worker took one look at me and decided that I wasn't fit to raise my daughter. For the first three years, I had to constantly prove that I knew what I was doing and that I could raise Lizzy well. That I didn't need any help."

"Ken, I've spent less than twenty-four hours with you and your daughter, and I don't think I can list a more devoted or better father than you."

A different kind of warmth swept through Kendall as he looked up at James to find those words matched with a fierce expression. James' hands were fisted at his side and he looked ready to do battle with anyone who thought contrary to himself.

"Thank you."

"I never meant to imply that you-"

Kendall shook his head, cutting James off.

"I know. I know you didn't," he said gently, giving the man he once knew so intimately a little grin before letting it fall away. "It's me. Ever since Jo's frantic call three days ago for me to come get Lizy, I've been off balance. Between the snowstorm, Christmas, and forcing you to put us up, I'm back to those terrifying days of waiting for some judge to declare that it's not safe for my daughter to be near me."

"It's never going to happen," James said sternly, stepping back up to the desk. "_Never_."

A wonderful warmth spread through Kendall and James' words. James was a corporate lawyer, not family, but Kendall had little doubt that this man would pull whatever contacts he had to help Kendall if he ever needed it.

"Thanks, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I was an ass. We'll figure something out with the gifts."

"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have gone overboard. I knew better, but I...I just wanted to make sure she had a good Christmas when she's so far from home. I…" James' voice trailed off. He looked away from Kendall and grabbed the drink sitting on the desktop. Kendall was just grateful the damn desk was between them because every instinct was demanding that he grab James and kiss him until the pain that flashed through his eyes was completely gone. It was there again on the tip of his tongue to ask why James was in this big house alone on Christmas when he knew the guy had family, which obviously included a young niece.

"Do you mind if I ask?" James hedged, drawing Kendall out of his own wandering thoughts. He met James' gaze to find his eyebrows raised as if he were half waiting for Kendall to explode again.

"Go for it."

"Jo?"

Kendall groaned and rolled his eyes. Damn, he shouldn't have finished his drink so fast.

"Jo was the woman I dated before I met you."

"Were you together long?"

Crossing to the small sofa in the corner of the room to the right of the desk, Kendall dropped down and sighed.

"Three months."

James made a hissing noise and Kendall laughed to see the other man wincing. _Yeah, three months and he ends up with a daughter._

"It should never have lasted that long. Jo was fun in the beginning, but it didn't take me more than a few weeks to figure out that she was self-centered and flighty. We broke up and she was fine with it." He looked down as his hands and frowned. "She and I were never together while I was with you." He took a chance and looked back up at James to see the speculation in his bright hazel eyes.

They'd never said they were exclusive when they'd been fucking, but for some reason he didn't want to look too closely at, he didn't want James to think that he'd been fcking both him and Jo at the same time.

Taking a sip of his drink, James put it down on the desk and walked over to stand in front of Kendall, his hands in the back pockets of his jeans. There was something shrewd in the way he narrowed his eyes, leaving Kendall feeling that he should have made a hasty retreat already.

"Did she tell you about your kid before or after that night outside your shop?"

Kendall sighed. That was the important question he had secretly hoped James wouldn't ask. But James had put it out there and after everything he'd done for Kendall, the man deserved to know the truth. Setting his empty glass on the carpet with a soft clink of the ice, Kendall pushed to his feet so that he could easily meet James' gaze.

"Jo called me with the news three weeks _before _that night."

James took one step forward, closing the distance between them as both his hands came up to frame either side of Kendall's face before pulling him in for a rough kiss. Kendall automatically opened for him, groaning as James' tongue slid across his. God, he'd missed this, missed James. Chills swept up his arms and back down his spine as he clutched James' waist, his fingers digging into firm flesh and muscle.

With the exception of the frantic kiss that morning, this was the first time Kendall had let himself have anything remotely intimate with another person-man or woman-in more than five years. It was just made all the better that it was James. He'd never get enough of James. Even when they were together all those years ago, he was always left wanting more, always looking forward to the next time he'd see James, touch him. And James always seemed to be just as hungry for him.

James' hand slid down between them and started tugging at the button on his jeans. Kendall groaned. This was going further than he'd planned.

"Jay-" he started to argue.

"Shhh. Let me have this."

"But-"

"It's a blowjob, not a marriage proposal," James muttered, swooping in for another kiss as he got Kendall's pants unbuttoned and started working on the zipper. "I've been a good boy. I'll do whatever you ask from here on out. Just let me suck your goddamn dick."

"Fuck...go shut the door." He didn't want to think about how stupid this was. Or that they were both heading straight for eventual disaster. But he wanted James and he'd denied himself for long enough. He could have this one moment-a Christmas present to himself.

James shot across the room in a blink while Kendall stumbled back a step and flopped onto the couch. He clenched his teeth, swallowing back a groan as he finished opening his pants and reached inside to stroke himself. Just kissing James had left him hard as a rock. He looked up to find James already stalking back to him, his handsome face flushed and bright hazel eyes sparkling with hunger.

Dropping to his knees between Kendall's spread legs, James shoved Kendall's hands out of the way so that he could wrap his long fingers around Kendall. He slowly stroked him, rubbing his thumb over the head. With his free hand, he grabbed Kendall's shirt and shoved it up so that he could run his palm over his chest.

James flashed him a wicked grin before he bent and ran the flat of his tongue along the underside of Kendall's cock. They both groaned and Kendall struggled to keep his eyes open, but he didn't want to miss a second of watching James swallow him down. The man sucked him like a pro, like nothing made him happier in the world than having Kendall's dick in his mouth. Hell, Kendall would be just as happy to keep it there.

A low hum started, vibrating up James' throat and thrumming around Kendall's dick, making him swear loudly. He wanted to take his time, enjoy this for as long as possible, but James was pulling out all his tricks. The man loved seeing how fast he could make Kendall come, taking pride in snapping his control. Not that it was exactly a challenge right then. He hadn't enjoyed a blowjob in too long. He was already riding the edge, his orgasm building.

"Fuck, Jay. Don't make me come already," Kendall ground out. His hips shifted, making a couple of shallow thrusts before he could stop himself.

James slowly pulled back, his tongue swirling around the head before he popped free from his swollen lips.

"Close already?" James teased. He stroked him with his right hand, keeping Kendall on edge.

"You fucking know I am," he growled.

"Should I stop?"

"No." He reached out and ran his thumb along James' bottom lip before slipping it inside. James sucked it hard for a moment before biting down, sending a corresponding throb his cock. "To hell with it. Suck me now. Get me there."

James grinned, releasing Kendall's thumb. "You gonna stop holding back?"

"Yes."

James sucked Kendall's duck down again and this time Kendall let himself thrust up, touching the back of James' throat. He growled as James sucked harder while he continued to thrust. Twisting the fingers of his left hand in James' hair, he held him in place while he fucked his mouth. His right hand slid along James' jaw, gently caressing, loving the feel of the stubble and patches of soft, smooth skin.

"Oh fuck, your mouth. God, I love your mouth," Kendall groaned. "You've got me so close."

James moaned and Kendall's eyes nearly rolled back into his head at the vibrations messaging his dick.

"You gonna swallow for me? Show me you want it."

James moaned again and moved a free hand between Kendall's legs, cupping the balls heavy and tight against his body. He pulled and massaged, sliding a finger lower to massage the narrow strip of flesh. And Kendall was lost.

He thrust three more times before shouting, not caring how loud he was as he pumped himself into James' mouth. Every muscle in his body tightened until he was sure he was going to snap in half, his orgasm ripping through him, knocking the air straight out of his lungs. Nothing had ever felt so damn good.

Kendall blinked slowly, waiting for the blood to flow back to his brain as he watched James flop onto his back, his legs spread so that his feet were on either side of Kendall's.

"Don't fucking move," James snarled as he quickly pulled open his pants. "You look so damn sexy, blissed out of your mind. I can still fucking taste you."

A smirk lifted one corner of Kendall's mouth.

"Love your dirty mouth," he murmured, his voice was a low rumble as James pulled his cock out of his pants and proceeded to stroke himself. With his free hand, James grabbed a handful of his shirt and jerked it up, revealing tight flexing abs and a muscular chest. Fuck, Kendall loved watching this man, loved his confidence, his natural sexiness.

He wanted to crawl down onto the floor and suck James off, but it was already too late. Just a few rough pumps and James was gasping and cursing as his back arched off the floor, his heels digging into the carpet. He painted his stomach with ropes of come before collapsing with a shiver. Kendall's spent cock twitched as if trying to come back to life and urge Kendall to crawl down there so he could properly fuck James. But it wasn't going to happen. At least not yet.

"Fuck…" James groaned, a lopsided smile toying with his lips. He turned his head just a bit so that he could look at Kendall, who couldn't help smiling down at the man. Lips swollen, brunet hair in disarray, half-naked, and stomach glazed with come-for the first time since Kendall had run into James at the airport, the man looked relaxed. _Happy_. Something inside of Kendall cried out to keep that smile on James' face, the relaxed glow that proclaimed all was right in the world.

But he couldn't.

_They _couldn't.

Where were they supposed to go from here? Kendall had Elizabeth. She was everything, his entire world-which was as it should be. And just keeping up with both her and his ex was time-consuming enough. He didn't have anything left of himself at the end of the day to share with James and that wasn't fair to him and-

"Stop," James said sharply, drawing Kendall's eyes back to his face. He hadn't even realized he'd looked away. "Just stop. Whatever you're thinking, whatever you're already freaking out about...just stop. Freak out later. Or better yet, don't freak out at all."

Kendall sighed, but he could still feel the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. James had a point. There was no reason to freak out...yet. He pulled his pants back in place and tucked himself away before pushing to his feet.

"Don't move. I'll grab you a towel."

James just grinned at him, the sated and content look returning to his face. He was a damn handsome man. Kendall quickly hurried out of the office, shutting the door behind him before pausing to listen for his daughter. When he was sure she was still asleep, he slipped into the bathroom and wet part of a hand towel before returning to James' side.

"I know it's ridiculously late to ask now," James started as he accepted the towel and cleaned off his stomach and chest. "But you're not seeing someone, right?"

"No, it's just Lizzy and me." Kendall chewed on his bottom lip for a second, staring down at James without really seeing him. Where the fuck did they go from here?

"Do you know how to cook a turkey?" James asked, jerking him from the train wreck in his brain.

"What?"

"Turkey. I bought a turkey, but I don't know how to cook one." James pushed up enough so that he was leaning back on his elbows, his shirt falling back down to cover his stomach. His hair was still a mess and his face flushed...and he looked so damn sexy, making it hard for Kendall to keep his mind on trying to put some mental distance between himself and James. "Considering how my brother bitches about cooking them, I'm sure there's more to it than 'heat oven and shove inside.'"

Kendall snorted. "Yeah, I've cooked a turkey. I can handle that." He extended his hand to James and helped him back to his feet.

"Great. Then tomorrow, you'll make the turkey and Lizzy and I will prep the salad."

"Really? Salad?" Kendall turned, watching as James started for the door. This really didn't come as a shock to Kendall at all. James was incredibly in shape but he had horrid eating habits. He survived too much on fast-food, pre-made food, and sandwiches simply because he couldn't cook and had no interest in learning to cook.

James grabbed the knob and looked back over his shoulder, smirking. "I bet Lizzy can even teach me how to set a table. We've got that covered, too."

Kendall rolled his eyes and followed James back into the living room. He knew he was in trouble-and so was James, whether he realized it or not-but James' smile was his siren song and after too many years without his laugh, his touch...Kendall couldn't bring himself to put the walls back up. At least not yet.

* * *

**Done! So, looks like things have heated up a bit between Kames!**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! You MIGHT get another chapter Sunday, if not then, then definitely within the next few days!**

**Until then! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello again everyone! A new chapter is here! :D**

**Before we get started though, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter. I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, and RainbowDiamonds!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

_March 2014_

_Kendall frowned when he opened the door. James looked like hell. When he stopped by Kendall's apartment, he usually changed from his suit and tie into jeans and a t-shirt. But he was standing there in his slightly rumpled dark suit, tie hanging loose and askew around his neck. His normally perfect hair was disheveled as if he'd spent the past several hours pulling at it._

"_Hey, what's up?" Kendall said, stepping back to let James into his apartment._

_James entered, sliding off his trench coat. "Nothing. Just a bad day. Work. Family shit."_

_Kendall shut the door and turned back to find James still standing there in the middle of his living room, coat clenched tightly in one fist. The muscles in his jaw were flexing as if he were grinding his teeth. The man was just one step from exploding, and that wasn't the James he'd come to know. His James was always under tight control or simply lighthearted. Easy to laugh and brush something off._

_It was on the tip of his tongue to ask what was bothering him, but Kendall didn't speak. They'd kept their conversations light, avoiding anything too serious or too personal. And when it came to James' bad day, he was willing to bet that the worst of it came from family shit rather than work. James didn't talk much about his family, but the few comments he'd made hadn't been pretty._

"_You want a beer?"_

"_I shouldn't have come over tonight," James mumbled under his breath. He looked down at the coat in his fist as if reconsidering putting it back on. "I'm not good company right now. I need to go."_

_As James started to turn, Kendall grabbed his shoulder, stopping him. He jerked the jacket out of James' hand and tossed it to the floor. Bright hazel eyes flared in surprise and Kendall watched him draw a breath to undoubtedly ask what the fuck he was doing, but Kendall just slammed his back against the door. Kendall followed him, pressing his body against James'._

_With frantic fingers, he tugged at James' tie, pulling it completely free of the knot and dropping it to the floor. _

"_I think this is exactly where you need to be." He attacked the shirt, tugging it open so that the buttons flew free, bouncing off the walls._

"_Fucker-" James started, but Kendall stopped him, grabbing his hair and jerking his head back until it thudded against the door. He licked up the side of his throat and then bit down on his jaw so that whatever James had been about to say was consumed by a long groan of need. Kendall lifted his head enough to look into James' eyes. Pain and hunger flashed there before he could close his eyes again._

"_I think you need me to bend you over and fuck you until you can't think or move." Kendall kept his voice low and guttural, barely more than a growl. He thrust his hips forward, rubbing his hardening cock against James'. He tightened his fist in James' hair and he thrust again, wringing a soft whimper from James. "Tell me that ass is mine."_

"_Yes," James whispered brokenly. "Please."_

_Kendall pulled James forward, grabbing his mouth in a brutal kiss that had James melting against him, the tension that had made his lean body taut falling away. Kendall thrust his tongue inside, sweeping through his mouth, staking his claim. He let instincts guide him and right now they were telling him that James simply needed to give up all control._

_He broke off the kiss before he could lose their momentum and pulled James to the bedroom. Another demanding kiss and James' pants were around his knees. Kendall turned him around and shoved him down on the bed._

"_Stay," he commanded as he dug through the drawer for a condom and lube. He made quick use of both and was just starting to prep James when he finally spoke._

"_No prep."_

"_James…" He didn't mind manhandling him and taking control of sex, but he wasn't going to hurt him. He wasn't going to cause a different kind of pain to drown out the first._

"_It'll be fine. I promise. Need you. _Please_." As he spoke, James pressed back against Kendall's hand. Kendall pressed two lube-covered fingers inside and James moaned. He continued to slowly finger fuck him, adding increasing pressure to James' prostate with each thrust until James was reduced to only desperate, needy sounds._

_When Kendall finally shoved his cock into James, they both cried out in relief. Grabbing his wrists, Kendall pinned James' hands to the bed as he relentlessly pounded into his body. He loved every noise, every plea, every whimper that came from James' lips. He wanted it to go on forever, but his orgasm was already bearing down on him. Common sense said that he needed to release his hold on James' arms so he could tip the man over the edge by stroking his dick, but even as the thought entered his head, James' muscles tightened around him and he shouted as he came. Kendall followed after him in an instant, his entire body torn in that moment of pleasure so sharp that it bordered on painful._

_He collapsed on top of James, releasing his wrist so that Kendall could wrap his arms around him. _

"_You okay?" Kendall panted, pressing kisses along his neck. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"_

_James turned his head, a tired, sated smile pulling at his lips. "I'm okay. You were perfect."_

_Kendall slowly kissed him again and again, sinking in the gentleness and tenderness he'd wanted to show James when he'd first seen that the man was in pain._

"_Thank you," James whispered between each kiss._

_Reluctantly, Kendall stood and was somewhat surprised they were both still mostly dressed. He quickly got them cleaned up and naked before they were settled under the blankets. He pulled James close, wrapping his arms around him. _

_This felt...different. There was no playful joking or talking. His heart ached for James. He wanted to help, but he wasn't sure what he could even do._

_Snuggling his face into Kendall's chest, James yawned and whispered, "Thank you." Kendall stared at him. The lines of tension were gone from his handsome face. His body was completely limp against Kendall's and his breathing evened out as he drifted deeper into sleep._

_Maybe it was enough to just be there._

* * *

"Who the fuck thought all these damn little decals were a good idea?" James complained for the third time.

Kendall looked up from the racetrack he was assembling as James continued to curse under his breath. Lizzy had fallen asleep more than an hour ago after a hearty-and messy-spaghetti dinner and a few hours of board games that belonged to James' niece. Kendall was pretty sure he'd prefer to never see Candyland again, but James made it fun for both him and his daughter.

Now they'd retreated to the office to wrap some gifts. James had convinced him to give Lizzy two princess dolls and a remote control monster truck, as well as a three-foot-tall doll castle and a racetrack. The dolls and the truck had been wrapped, while James was putting together the castle and Kendall was handling the track. The only problem was that the castle and all the accessories had come without their little stickers affixed, so James was attempting to do that and follow the insane instructions.

As he snapped the last track into place, James broke into another angry rant, sounding as if he was going to throw the entire thing across the room. Kendall frowned as he looked up, stunned to find the man so worked up about a child's toy. He and James hadn't known each other long-slept together for less than six months-and God knew they didn't always see eye to eye on things. But in all that time, he'd never seen James lose his temper like he did right then.

James was the type to shut down emotionally, pull everything in tight, and hide behind his protective wall so no one could reach him. But this...this was a man wavering on the edge and it had nothing to do with a silly child's toy.

"You know it doesn't have to be perfect," Kendall said carefully.

James glared at him over his shoulder.

"Of course it has to be perfect. I'm not fucking half-assing this." James turned his attention back to the tiny sticker on the edge of his index finger as he attempted to perfectly apply it to some piece of doll furniture. "It's Christmas and Lizzy is away from home. This has to be fucking perfect."

"She's going to love everything. Don't worry about the stickers."

"Fuck that! It has to be perfect." James finished with the sticker and moved on to the next one, still muttering under his breath about Christmas. But as he worked, his expression grew more strained and his shoulders tenser.

Kendall shifted where he sat on the floor, turning his body so that he was behind James with his legs on either side of James' hips. He put his hands on James' shoulders and the other man actually flinched at his touch, but Kendall didn't move away. "Put the stickers down. We're going to talk."

"Later. I've still got another sheet of decals to work through and-"

"_Now_." Kendall slid his hands down James' rigid back and around his waist, one moving up and across his chest while the other slipped between his legs to cup his crotch. James hissed, his body going completely still except for the rapid beating of James' heart under his hand. Bending his head forward, Kendall pressed a soft kiss to the back of James' neck.

A shuddering breath left James and Kendall could hear him lick his lips. "Kendall?"

Yeah, he was throwing off some mixed signals. It was the first time he'd initiated anything between them while he'd been trying to keep James at arm's length. Well, that wasn't going to work because James needed him.

"I've got you," Kendall said. He kissed James' neck again, but this time he scraped his teeth along the flesh, earning a low moan from James. He could feel James' cock growing harder under his hand. Fuck, his own dick was getting hard as he pressed his palm to James', massaging him through his jeans. "You want me to make you feel good?" With his other hand, he moved his thumb back and forth over James' chest, caressing his nipple even through the layers of sweater and T-shirt. "Make you come so hard you can't even fucking breathe?"

"Oh God, yes," James said, his voice cracking. He shifted his hips just a little, trying to press more into Kendall's hand. "But...I've got to finish this first. It needs to be perfect."

Kendall stopped moving his hands and just held James tightly. "Why?"

"Because it's Christmas."

"She's five, James. She's not going to notice if a sticker is a little crooked. We can even finish it tomorrow morning. She'll understand if Santa couldn't get it all done. He has a lot of houses to hit."

"You don't understand," James said sharply and started to reach for the stickers again, but Kendall kept him trapped in his arms so that he couldn't quite reach the sheet just beyond his fingertips.

"No, I don't. Talk to me."

"Don't, Kendall. Let's just finish this. It's late."

"Why does Christmas have to be perfect?"

James stiffened and stared at the pink castle. Even from where Kendall sat behind him, he could see the muscles in James' jaw jumping as if he were clenching his teeth. The wall was going up, but Kendall was prepared to go through it with a battering ram if he had to.

"Why are you here alone?" he pressed. "Why aren't you with your brother and your niece? Where are your parents? You told me stories of Christmas celebrations here with your parents and your brother. So why are you here alone?"

James still refused to speak and Kendall sighed heavily. He dropped his head forward, pressing his forehead against the back of James' head. "Then just tell me how long you've been coming here for Christmas alone?"

The silence stretched between them, and Kendall racked his brain for something he could say that would finally get James talking.

"This is my eighth Christmas alone...or rather it would have been," James murmured, his words barely louder than a whisper.

Kendall swallowed back several responses, including the angry one where he remembered James telling him while they were seeing each other that he was spending Christmas with his family in Denver. He remembered how bad James had looked when they saw each other that first weekend he was back in town, how James had spent more time holding him in bed.

"What happened?"

"My parents gave up the act. They got a divorce. Best thing that could have happened to miserable people." James reached over and gripped Kendall's right knee, his hand shaking slightly. "Life was a popularity contest for them and they used their children as tools to gain more, whether it was in society or against each other. Christmas was the only time when life seemed...normal. Perfect."

"You definitely painted a beautiful picture in what you told me. Was it all true? Or were you just making it sound better for yourself?"

"No, it was true. We made snowmen and went skiing together. We had big dinners and roasted marshmallows over the fire in the living room. We laughed and had fun. For two weeks each year, it was perfect. My brother and I felt loved. Cherished."

"But the rest of the year?"

"A nightmare."

"I'm sorry."

James shook his head. "I was actually glad when they got a divorce. I thought they'd go their separate ways and be happy."

"What happened?"

"When it got to close to that first Christmas after the divorce, I started getting phone calls and emails from my parents almost constantly, wanting to know what my plans were, wanting to know with whom I was spending the holiday. They both planned these extravagant parties or these crazy getaways. When I didn't immediately answer, they both got angry, assuming that I was going to see the other. It was _still _a fucking popularity contest. It didn't matter if I was there, it only mattered that I wasn't with the other person."

"What about your brother?"

"He was getting the same bullshit. He actually tried splitting his time between them, but that only seemed to make it worse. Now he won't talk to either of them, but he at least has the excuse of spending the holiday with his in-laws-fucking sane people."

"Surely he invited you to stay with him." Kendall's arms tightened around James and the man seemed to sink a little further into Kendall's embrace.

"Of course. But it's the same shit. If I spend the holiday with him, I get the manipulative guilt-filled bullshit from both my parents, and I resent the hell out of them for ruining that for me and Shane. It's just...it's less of a nightmare if I come here alone."

_Where he sits alone for a week or two, haunted by the memories of perfect Christmases surrounded by a happy, loving family that he never really had. And he can't even spend time with the one family member who actually loves him. _

And then Kendall and Lizzy dropped unexpectedly into his lap. James had to have taken one look at Lizzy and decided that the little girl would have the same kind of perfect Christmas that he must have looked forward to all year. He opened his home, got supplies, bought gifts, and generally did everything within his power to make sure that one little girl he would never see again was happy on this one special day out of the year.

Kendall closed his eyes and dragged in a deep breath. Fuck, he didn't want to care about this man more than he already did. He...he just couldn't. There wasn't room in his life for James. But he wanted him. Wanted him so damn bad, but James was out of his reach. He hadn't fit in James' elegant life when he was just a mechanic with a failing business, but Kendall had been able to crush those thoughts when it had just been sex. He definitely didn't fit now as a struggling, single-dad mechanic wanting so much more than a good, hard fuck.

"Are we done talking now? I really need to finish this," James said. His voice sounded tired and a little shaky, as if he were still trying to pull himself back together.

"We're done talking," Kendall said. The hand on James' crotch moved up and he tugged the button, unfastening James' pants before pulling down the zipper. "But I promised to make you come." James' breathing picked up and he could feel the man's cock jerk to life again. "You gonna let me fuck you, Jay?"

"What about this?" he asked, motioning toward the nearly completed castle.

"It'll keep for now." Kendall pushed to his feet and extended a hand to James. "I need to be inside you." He watched James' eyes dart from his hand to the castle, indecision still weighing on him as if he couldn't quite shake free of the past. "Now, James," he said, dropping his voice so that it took on a hardened edge. A shiver swept through James and he took Kendall's hand, getting to his feet.

As soon as James was standing, Kendall kissed him, thrusting his tongue into James' mouth and dominating him until James melted against him, whimpering softly. James' hand settled on his waist and tightened there while Kendall wrapped one hand around his neck, holding his head captive, as he threaded the fingers of his other hand through James' hair. He sucked on his tongue and plunged back in for more, relearning every inch of his mouth. He wanted to know everything again, to wipe away the last bits of distance created by those long years apart.

"Please. Kendall," James panted when Kendall dragged his lips along James' jaw. "Need you."

Kendall smiled at him for a moment before grabbing his hand and pulling him from the office. He went into the master bedroom on the first floor and closed the door behind him. He leaned back against it while James continued into the center of the room. When he realized that Kendall wasn't next to him, he stopped and turned, his brow furrowed in confusion. But Kendall just grinned at him.

"Strip for me," Kendall said.

"You want a show?"

"You want me to fuck you through the mattress? Strip for me."

James toed out of his shoes and nudged them aside before reaching for the bottom of his sweater to pull it over his head. Kendall shoved away from the door and walked around James, who slowly pivoted on his heel to keep Kendall in view while he flipped on the small lamp beside the bed. The warm yellow light gilded James' tan skin, teasing tempting hollows Kendall looked forward to licking and nibbling on.

"Strip," Kendall growled, taking a step backward so that James was out of his reach.

With shaking hands, James attacked his belt, jerking it loose before unfastening his pants. He shoved both his jeans and underwear down to his ankles and stepped out of them, kicking them to the side in his haste. His long, hard cock bobbed, and James' hands opened and closed at his sides as if he were fighting the urge to either stroke himself or reach for Kendall.

Taking one step closer, Kendall dropped to his knees in front of James, putting his mouth right at the same level as James' dick. He smiled up at James as a soft groan slipped from his parted lips.

"You missed something," Kendall said before reaching down to slide one sock and then the other off James' feet.

"Fuck, Kendall," James whispered, his voice cracking with need.

Kendall leaned forward, licking along to that tender spot where his leg met his torso. Muscles jerked and flinched under his touch while James tightly gripped Kendall's hair, holding his head. Digging his fingers into James' ass, he held him still as he licked and nuzzled along his cock. After just a few minutes, James was swearing, his fingers biting into his skull while thrusting against his face for some relief. This was how he loved to have James-all the walls down, desperate, and raw.

Spreading his cheeks with his hands, Kendall extended his index finger so that it circled around his pucker. The muscles clenched at his touch and James pressed backward, wanting more contact, but Kendall was careful to keep from pressing into him. He wanted to keep James on edge, panting and needy.

"Kendall," James said in a strangled voice. "Please, I need something. Anything."

Kendall turned his head and ran his tongue along the side of his cock as James shuddered. He continued to slide his finger along the seam of James' ass, teasing him while licking him, swirling his tongue around the head of his cock. His own dick pressed uncomfortably against the front of his pants. He was aching, ready to plunge into James and pound him into the mattress until they were both a sweaty mass of flesh.

"Don't let me come," James suddenly said. Muscles trembling under his hands. "Not till you're fucking me."

Kendall sat back on his heels and looked up at James. He licked his lips as he took in the long, lean muscles and flushed face. "Where are your supplies?"

"Bedside table," James said in a rush. There was a sigh of relief in those words. Kendall shouldn't have been surprised James had them so close. Since the blowjob in the office that afternoon, Kendall had a feeling that there was no avoiding this moment. He'd just not expected to be the one to initiate it.

"Get on your hands and knees on the bed."

Kendall remained where he was, watching James immediately crawl onto the bed. He admired the strong thighs before giving way to a smooth, perfect ass. He was tempted to climb right up behind James and shove his tongue into that perfect ass, eating him until James was a moaning, writhing mess, but they were both too damn close and Kendall really needed to fuck him.

Getting to his feet, Kendall quickly stripped out of his clothes before grabbing the lube and condom out of the drawer. He tossed both on the bed before climbing onto the mattress behind James. He put one hand between his shoulders and pushed until James' cheek was pressed to the comforter. James had both fists twisted in the dark gray blanket, his knuckles turning white as if he were struggling to hold on to control.

Kendall picked up the lube and poured some onto his fingers. He briefly rubbed them together warming it while he spread James' ass open with his free hand. Gently he rubbed along his hole, loving the way the muscles flexed at his touch.

"Just fuck me. None of this finger bullshit. Just need you to fuck me," James begged while at the same time pressing back. Kendall obliged him and pressed one finger inside. Tight heat surrounded him and Kendall nearly groaned, his dick jerking, begging to plunge into that.

But even with his pleading, James flinched and hissed at the invasion and Kendall didn't miss it. James was so damn tight. They'd fucked without prep in the past, but that had been when they were going at it several times a week. It had simply been a race to grab the lube and a condom before Kendall was bending James over the nearest available surface.

"You're tight, baby," Kendall murmured. He slowly moved inside of James, tamping down his own needs as James adjusted. "So fucking tight."

"More."

Kendall pulled his finger out and added more lube before pressing in again. This time James groaned, his body relaxing a little more. "So tight, baby. How long has it been?"

"Kendall."

"Tell me and I'll give you more. How long's it been since you let someone fuck you?" As he asked the question, he slid out until only the tip of his finger was penetrating him.

"Fuck," James swore into the blanket, his voice partially muffled. "Years. Fucking years. You were the last."

Kendall rewarded him by pushing two inside him, stretching him as his own dick grew harder.

"That's it. That what you wanted?" Kendall asked as he crooked his fingers and brushed them across his prostate, wringing a long moan out of James.

"Yes, please. Yes. No one fucks me like you."

Kendall scissored his fingers, stretching him while working in more lube. He slid his free hand down James' spine damp with sweat, loving the feel of those muscles and smooth flesh. James pleaded, pushing back, taking Kendall's fingers deeper, fucking himself.

"Yes, fuck me now. I'm so close, Ken."

"I've got you, Jay," Kendall murmured as he withdrew and grabbed the condom up with one shaking hand. He suited his cock and slathered on the lube, some niggling voice in the back of his head saying that he should slow down, stretch James more. He didn't want to hurt James, but he couldn't wait.

Lining himself up, he pressed until the head was past the tight ring of muscles and then stopped, holding perfectly still as James squeezed him. Sweat dripped down along his jaw and his arms shook as his muscles strained. He wanted to plunge inside him so bad he could barely think, but nothing could make him hurt James.

"I'm good," James whispered. "Ken...I'm good." At the same time, James pushed back a little, taking more of his dick. Kendall groaned, inching inside of that tight heat until he was fully inside.

Stretching out over James, he placed a series of kisses along his shoulder, working up to his ear. "This what you wanted, baby? Needed my dick in you?"

"Yes," James hissed. "Forgot how big you are."

Kendall chuckled and licked along the shell of James' ear. A shudder ran the length of James' body and his ass tightened around Kendall's cock.

"Mmm...love stretching your ass. Gonna make you come without touching your dick."

James' only answer was a groan.

Kissing James' jaw, Kendall straightened and placed his hands on James' narrow hips. He pulled almost completely out so that only the head stretched that tight heat before plunging back in. He set a grueling pace, pounding into James. The sound of sweaty flesh smacking, Kendall's groans, and James' pleading for more filled the room.

Kendall loved fucking James. Loved every sound the man made. They way they seemed to fit so perfectly. He loved how roughly he could hold James, loved how James always wanted more from Kendall and he was only too happy to provide it.

"So close," James panted. "Please, Ken. Harder."

Kendall could feel his own orgasm building, tingling down along his spine like lightning crackling among the clouds. Gripping James harder, he shifted the angle and James cried out. Kendall was now perfectly hitting James' prostate with each thrust. Sliding one hand up, he cupped James' shoulder and snarled as he hammered into him. "Mine. You're fucking mine, Jay."

James cried out again, his ass spasming around Kendall's cock, squeezing it tighter as he came. Kendall managed a few more thrusts before his own orgasm ripped through him, tearing the air from his lungs as he filled the condom.

As air hit his lungs again, he fell forward, just barely catching himself before he could crush James into the mattress. They both panted loudly. When he was sure he could move without his arms and legs giving out beneath him, Kendall carefully pulled free of James and disposed of the condom in the trashcan next to the bed.

"Ken?"

"Not leaving," Kendall murmured, sliding back into bed so that he was lying next to James, one arm and leg thrown over him. That was another thing he loved about fucking James-afterward, James loved to feel Kendall's weight pressing down on him no matter how sweaty or exhausted they were.

Kendall brushed his lips against James' shoulder. His face was flushed and his brunet hair was a sweaty mess, but the lines of strain had disappeared from his face, making him look as if he were finally at ease. "You okay?"

"I'm okay," James sort of hummed, his eyes still closed.

"I'm serious."

One eye popped open to look at Kendall and his lips turned up in a half-smile, but he still looked utterly sated.

"Oh, my ass is gonna be tender later, but right now I feel soooo damn good." His eye closed again and he sighed softly.

Kendall enjoyed looking at his bed companion. He'd aged a little over the years, a couple of new fine lines to his face, a more mature look to his features, but still so fucking handsome. Even after all these years, he couldn't believe someone like James was screwing around with him. James always seemed to have all his shit together, knew what he wanted, when he wanted it and how he wanted it. And in all of that tight control, James had made a space for Kendall in his life. It raised other questions, uncomfortable things like why James only bottomed for Kendall and why he'd pushed so hard when Kendall tried to quietly walk away all those years ago. But Kendall was more afraid of the answers he might get if he asked those questions out loud.

But for all the weird twists and turns his life had taken, he was still grateful he'd walked into that bar.

"Why did you walk into that bar?" James asked and Kendall blinked in surprise. Had he spoken out loud?

"What bar?"

James opened one eye again and despite having half his face pressed into the comforter, he managed to raise one incredulous eyebrow.

"The gay one," he clearly enunciated.

Yeah, that's what he thought. Apparently, both their minds were drifting down old paths. They'd never talked about such things before. In their short time together, they'd talked about anything and everything, but never about that night or Kendall's sexuality. James had left the door open, always supportive and willing to answer any questions Kendall had, but Kendall had just wanted to know James. The rest would work itself out.

"I...I just looked up and saw you."

James pulled his arms under him so that he could raise up, leaning on his forearms as he looked down on Kendall resting among the pillows. His hair was sticking out in every direction and he looked so damn adorable.

"And?"

"What do you mean, 'and?'"

"You were straight."

"Bi," Kendall corrected, fighting back a smile.

James rolled his eyes. "I was the first guy you approached."

"Technically, you approached me."

"You came in the bar _after _me."

Kendall smirked. "Did I not do a good enough job fucking you? Your ego need stroking now?"

James shifted so that he was lying on his side facing Kendall, while still remaining under Kendall's arm and leg. "I'm serious. I want to know what tipped the scale. Were you bored? Were you that annoyed with the idea of meeting that woman? Were you-"

"You laughed."

James stopped, his mouth shutting with a soft click of his teeth. He looked surprised.

"You laughed and I looked up to find this sexy-as-sin guy walking by," Kendall continued. "All I could think was that if you were a woman, I'd already be across the street." Kendall gave a little shrug. "Then I realized that I didn't give a damn that you weren't a woman. I needed to meet the guy who laughed like that and looked like sex."

James softly sighed and lay back on his stomach, half burying his face in the pillow. "That's a good answer."

Kendall's smile fell away as he watched his bedmate.

It was the truth.

* * *

**Done! So, more Kames this chapter. You also got a bit more of James' backstory as well as a Kames flashback!**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed and that you all had a great weekend! The next chapter of this will be up sometime this week, next weekend at the very latest.**

**Until then! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello again everyone! A new chapter is here! :D**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, annabellex2, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

James mentally clung to the relaxed, sated joy that tingled through his body. How long had it been since he'd last felt this relaxed? This complete? Well, maybe not entirely. A part of him itched to reach over and draw Kendall closer so that they were completely wrapped in each other-the same way he had when they'd slept together years ago. Sure, it had started out as just some fun all those years ago. Just sex. But in those last weeks, before things went to shit, they'd done more hanging out than fucking. Sleeping over, wrapped up in each other, had become the norm. He had been sure that Kendall had felt something, that there was something..._more _going on between them than just sex.

But where did that leave them now?

Turning his head, he brushed his lips against Kendall's shoulder. "I almost forgot how good we are together."

"So fucking good," Kendall murmured, sounding as if he was starting to drift off to sleep.

"You know that it doesn't have to end when you leave Denver," James tentatively added.

And just like that Kendall was sitting up and throwing his legs over the edge of the bed. James wanted to kick himself. This had not been his goal at all. He wanted to keep Kendall in his bed, not just for that night but for the foreseeable future.

"Yes, it does," Kendall said wearily. He sat with his forearms resting on his knees and his hair falling into his face. "I can't do more."

James rolled onto his side, fighting the urge to run his hand down Kendall's spine.

"Why?" But Kendall didn't say anything and James frowned. "Why didn't you tell me about the baby when you found out?"

Kendall quickly turned around and looked at James like he'd lost his mind. "We were just screwing around. No complications. 'Just some fun.' Remember? How was I supposed to tell you that my life was about to get really fucking complicated?"

"Yeah, we were fucking, but I also thought over that time that we became friends. You couldn't tell your friend that shit was getting messy in your life?"

"Maybe I didn't want to watch you run for the door."

James shoved into a sitting position, leaning back against the headboard. "What the-"

"Don't. You were always quick to point out that there was no pressure, no complications. Just some fun. You didn't want messy."

"It wasn't a matter of me not wanting messy," James said, giving up on trying to control his temper. "I knew that I was a goddamn experiment for you. Every time we were together, we were conquering some first for you. And yeah, I loved being your first for all of it, but I felt like I had to keep it light. I was afraid that if I was serious, if it suddenly became too real for you too soon, you'd run for the door."

Kendall turned back to face away and James silently cursed himself. He should have kept his damn shut because before Kendall turned away, he looked like James had just dropped a massive bomb on him.

"Are you saying that you wanted something more?" Kendall asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

James sighed. Before Kendall had cut him off years ago, he'd spent the better part of a week working up the nerve to ask Kendall to be exclusive with him. If he'd thought for an instant that Kendall would have agreed to it, he would have asked Kendall to move in with him so that they were sharing the same bed every night.

"Yes, I wanted more," he admitted. He couldn't go back to pretending that the bare minimum was good enough for him. He'd fallen for this amazing man, much to his own shock. James shook his head, shoving aside thoughts of the past. "But the past doesn't matter anymore. I know about Lizzy now and I think she's amazing. You don't need to hide that side from me. When we get back home-"

"That's just it. I can't. I don't date, Jay. I don't have time or room in my life for anyone besides my daughter right now." Kendall sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "In the morning, I get up early, feed her and get her ready for school. She goes to school and then I go to the shop. After school, I take her to the sitter then go back to the shop. After work, it's dinner, schoolwork, bath, and stories. On weekends, we've got soccer, gymnastics, the library, and housework. There literally isn't time for anyone or anything else."

"I can work with your schedule. Help with dinner and go with you to soccer and gymnastics. I know how to use a vacuum cleaner."

Kendall looked over his shoulder and smirked at James. Yeah, he knew the thought of him running a vacuum cleaner was a bit odd. He had a cleaning service who handled his house twice a week, but he'd used one in the past. A few times...maybe.

"I might not know all the intricacies of your life, but I get that it's busy. My brother has kept me apprised of what it's like for him keeping up with a young daughter while trying to handle a full-time job and a wife who frequently travels. I don't have any illusions that it's easy, but...we can try."

The smirk fell from Kendall's mouth again and he sighed. "If it was just me, I'd say, 'sure, let's try.' But what about Lizzy? She gets attached so easily, and she's already dealing with a mother who's in and out of her life. I don't want her to get hurt because we can't make it work and you're suddenly not around any longer."

"So you're just not going to date?"

Kendall shook his head. "At least not until she's older and she can understand that whatever happens isn't her fault."

James shut his eyes and tried to ignore the heavy weight that pressed against his chest, suddenly making it hard to breathe. It wasn't him. It was a small consolation, and a part of him wanted to say he'd wait for Kendall's daughter to be old enough, but the truth was that he didn't want to wait. He wanted Kendall now, in his life in every way, and he wanted to be involved in Kendall's life and Lizzy's life. He wanted to be there for her firsts too-first loose tooth, first dance, first date, and more.

"I get it," James murmured. "You've got to do what's best for her. I respect that."

"Thanks."

"The selfish bastard in me isn't happy about it," he added, earning a snort from Kendall.

"The selfish bastard in me isn't happy either."

James scrubbed a hand over his face, hating every moment of feeling so damn vulnerable. No one ever made him feel like this, except for his parents...and Kendall. "One last thing and then I swear I'll drop it. It's...it's not the gay issue that's holding you back with Lizzy, is it?"

Kendall laughed quick and loud as if he were surprised before facing James. "That actually never occurred to me-the thought of me trying to explain to Lizzy that I'm dating a man instead of someone like her mother. I honestly only thought of how she'd be hurt if I had to explain that you weren't going to be around any longer."

James nodded. In the end, it didn't matter. He couldn't have Kendall because Kendall was trying to be a good father and protect his daughter. He couldn't promise Kendall that if they tried to have a relationship that it would work out. None of his other relationships had worked out, even though not one of them had left him as emotionally attached as he was to Kendall. He couldn't give any guarantees.

"I should go check on Lizzy," Kendall said, reaching for his pants.

James swallowed down the argument that rose up. He knew it was just an excuse so that Kendall could retire to the guest bedroom rather than sleep with James. He wanted Kendall to stay. He wanted to feel his body next to his as he slept and listen to his soft snoring. But this was smarter. Less complicated.

But it still sucked royally.

There had to be a better way.

XxX

James stood at the window in the den, watching Kendall and Lizzy building a snowman. The little girl was spending more time dancing around in the snow and flinging it up in the air than actually working on the snowman, but her father was putting in an admirable effort as he carefully placed the second, smaller ball on top of the first.

A part of him longed to be out there with them, laughing and helping Kendall create the snowman, but it was better if he was inside. He already felt like he was invading Kendall's special time with his daughter. He'd worked hard to make sure that she had everything in place for a perfect Christmas, but he hadn't thought about the fact that he'd be stuck there too, in the way, when Christmas actually arrived.

Not that Lizzy made him feel like an outsider. She'd squealed loudly when she came down the stairs to see the toys that Santa left. He'd been sipping his first cup of coffee, trying to get his brain to function, but her shouts of pure joy worked wonders at kick-starting his mind. Kendall had just smiled this perfect beatific expression as he watched his daughter, and James was sure there was no stopping himself from falling more in love with the man.

After opening her gifts, Lizzy was sure to drag him over so that she could introduce all the dolls to him and then explain every inch of the dollhouse he'd worked so hard to make sure was perfect for her. Of course, Kendall had been right in that she didn't mind that a couple of the stickers were crooked or that he and Kendall had to finish up the last sheet of decals. She'd been over the moon to just help with that, calling Kendall and James Santa's helpers.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't just Kendall that James was falling in love with.

But he was an outsider. Kendall didn't want to date. Didn't want him in his life because of Lizzy and James had to respect that.

There had to be another option. Something else.

With a sigh, James reached into his back pocket and pulled out his cell phone. There was only one person he could think of who would talk some sense into him.

"Merry Christmas!" Dak's cheerful voice greeted when he answered on the second ring.

"Merry Christmas," James murmured back. "I'm not disturbing some family fun, am I?"

Dak snorted. In the background, James could hear conversation, but it was growing softer as if Dak were moving to an empty room.

"Saving me is more like it. My mother is trying to convince us to have a pre-wedding brunch because spending an afternoon and evening with family and friends apparently isn't going to be enough."

"That sounds like a brilliant idea!" James teased. "You know you want to spend more time with that aunt who's still convinced that Jett is your second cousin."

"The attendance of the _entire _wedding party would be required for the brunch," Dak added and James cringed. He'd been honored when Dak asked him to be his best man, but less than thrilled with the elaborate plans his mother had attempted to pull off.

"I'm going to let you go so you can kill this brunch idea."

Dak laughed and some of the tension filling James' shoulders relaxed. "Jett's got it covered. How's the family? Ready to fly back and deal with mine?"

"There's...there's been a slight change in plans this year," James hedged. He closed his eyes against the wintery scene just outside his window and took a deep breath. Telling Dak about Kendall meant telling him the truth about a lot of things. "Do you remember Kendall?"

"The mechanic? The asshole that dumped you and fucked up your life for about a year?"

One corner of James' mouth quirked up at Dak's heated description. He'd really thought he'd hidden his heartbreak over Kendall from Dak, but apparently he'd been a bigger mess than he'd realized.

"I ran into Kendall...and his daughter at the Denver airport. She's five and absolutely adorable."

"Oh...oh _fuck_…"

It was almost like James could hear the pieces falling into place in Dak's brain.

"They got stuck here because of the snowstorms, and they've been staying here with me."

"How's that going with your family there?"

James took a deep breath. "They're not here. They...they haven't been here for years." Turning away from the window, James walked over to the desk and dropped into the chair as he started to tell Dak everything-the guilt and manipulation, the divorce, the lonely Christmases, and then everything that had happened between himself and Kendall since they'd arrived at the cabin.

When he was done, he looked up to find that it had grown dark outside and Kendall had moved inside with his daughter to warm up. A knock on the door jerked his eyes back to the entrance where Kendall suck his head in the door.

"Sorry," he whispered and started to back out of the room.

"It's okay," James quickly said, jumping to his feet. "Just wishing Dak Merry Christmas. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm making Lizzy some hot chocolate. Would you like some?"

"Yeah, hot chocolate would be great. I'll be out in a minute."

Kendall flashed him a smile that made James' heart skip a beat and then he was gone again.

"Hot chocolate, huh?" Dak murmured in his ear, reminding James that his friend had heard every word.

"I am so fucked." James sighed and flopped back into his chair. "What the hell am I supposed to do? He won't date me because he's trying to protect his daughter. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've got no argument against that."

"Wow. You're a sucky lawyer."

"This isn't a joke," James snapped.

"I know. It's not. We're talking about the well-being of a little girl. Does she need to be protected from you?"

"Fuck no!" James launched himself out of his chair and paced the room. His hand opened and closed at his side, pissed that his best friend would even ask such a question. "I would never do anything to hurt her, but I can't promise that dating is going to work out. No one can promise that. But I want to be there for Kendall, help him. I want to be there for all those moments in their lives." James stopped pacing and growled at himself, staring at the dark brown carpet under his feet. "I love him."

"Really?"

James groaned. "You know that stupid, dreamy look you get on your face when you're thinking of Jett and he's nowhere around? It's like that."

"That's bad."

"Thanks, Mr. Sunshine. I'm so glad I called you."

Dak chuckled softly. "It sounds like he's been doing this alone for a long time. You need to show him that he's not. That you want to be there for all of his life-good and bad. Show him that you're there for him and his daughter. You have to convince him that taking a chance on you is better than not having you in his life at all. That's pretty much all you can do at this point."

"I'm trying, D. He's fighting me."

"I'm sorry, counselor. Are you going to give up because this case is too hard?"

Against his will, James smiled at Dak's smartass comment. "Nope."

"All right then. Now get back in there and drink that hot chocolate."

"Thanks, D."

"Anytime, Jay. And just know that I'm telling my mother about your years of Christmas alone nonsense. She's going to want to have a long talk with you while I'm on my honeymoon. You and I are having a talk as well."

"You're lucky I love you and your mom."

Dak laughed. "Everyone loves me and my mom. Merry Christmas and good luck."

Hanging on to the newfound optimism, James returned to the living room to find Kendall working in the kitchen. Lizzy jumped to her feet and ran over to him, her hair full of static and standing up in every direction after being tucked in a knit hat.

"James! Daddy made you hot chocolate, but all the marshmallows are melting." She then leaned closer and cupped her hands around her mouth, adding in a stage whisper that could easily reach Kendall, "I bet you can convince Daddy to add more since yours melted."

"No more marshmallows," Kendall called from the kitchen without even looking up at them, but James could hear the laughter in his voice. "Neither of you needs more sugar before dinner."

Grinning, James ushered Lizzy back to the living room where he found a full mug of hot chocolate with a white layer of melted marshmallows. He sipped it to find the drink now only lukewarm. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had made him hot chocolate. Lizzy spun around the living room before dropping back down in front of the giant castle. The set had come with a queen, king, and princess doll, but he noticed that Lizzy had raided the toys left behind by his niece to also include another, much larger prince charming doll.

Standing with his hot chocolate, he was surprised to find that the king, princess, and borrowed prince charming were all seated at the dinner table while the queen was in one of the cars on the racetrack.

"Why's the queen way over on the track?" he asked. Setting his mug on the coffee table, James knelt down in front of the castle.

"That's Mommy. She's driving away for vacation," Lizzy said with a wave of her hand. She scooted closer to the castle. "This is Daddy and me and you having Christmas dinner," she explained, indicating that James was the borrowed prince. She moved some of the place settings around on the table and then paused, looking up at James. "Do you think Mommy will remember to call tonight so I can wish her Merry Christmas?"

James stared at the wide, hopeful eyes, just trying to breathe past the lump that had formed in his throat as he struggled to come up with an answer, but his mind kept going back to the question: Would Lizzy be asking about him in a year or two from now if he and Kendall couldn't make it work?

To hell with that. He'd still make time for her. He could call.

"I'm sure she'll try. She might have trouble if she's still trying to get through the snow," James said. Lizzy nodded and turned back to the castle, accepting his lame excuse. He didn't want to lie to her, but he understood more than most the importance of holding on to the illusion during the holidays.

"Hey!" Kendall called from the kitchen. "I thought I was going to have helpers for dinner."

Lizzy squealed and leapt to her feet, running to the kitchen while James followed behind her. He arrived in time to help her settle on a tall stool at the giant island in the center of the room. The heavenly scent of turkey and spices filled the air. Kendall had perspiration dotting his brow as he worked on peeling a pile of potatoes.

"What can we do to help?" James asked.

"You two volunteered for salad duty."

James set to pulling out the ingredients from the fridge. He cleaned and chopped, while Lizzy had the job of putting everything in the large bowl and tossing it. Which then resulted in needing to put the salad _back _into the bowl. They worked easily together in the kitchen, sliding around each other as if they'd been doing this exact same dance for years. Easy chatter about snowmen and snowball fights filled their time.

More than once James looked up to find Kendall watching him and Lizzy, a wistful expression on his face, but then he would look away quickly, turning his attention back to the task at hand.

"Daddy, we're done with the salad. Can I go back and play?" Lizzy's question broke through James' wandering thoughts.

"Sure, Speed Racer."

James immediately stepped close and helped her safely off the stool. She started to dart away and stopped suddenly, covering her mouth as she giggled.

"What's so funny?" James asked, looking down at his shirt to make sure that he hadn't gotten any food on himself as he'd cleaned and chopped.

"You're standing under the mistletoe!" she declared, pointing a finger over James' head. He looked up and found hanging from the light fixture was indeed a sprig of plastic mistletoe. He hadn't even noticed it there the previous day when he marveled at the lights and decorations that Kendall had gotten in place while he was at the store.

"I didn't even see that there," he murmured.

"Now Daddy has to kiss you!"

James could feel his cheeks heat as he turned to look at Kendall, who was shaking his head and grinning. "I put that up here sure that I would catch her considering that she's in the kitchen a dozen times a day looking for a snack," Kendall said.

"You don't have to," James quickly countered. "You didn't mean-"

"He does!" Lizzy adamantly said. "It's a Christmas rule!"

Kendall grabbed a dish towel and dried his hands as he walked around the island to stand in front of James. He tried to ignore the frantic pounding of his heart while clenching his fists at his sides to keep from grabbing Kendall. This was just going to be a quick little peck on the cheek, he told himself, but all thoughts were completely scattered when Kendall slid his hand along his jaw and pressed his thumb into James' chin, tilting his face down slightly.

"Kendall," he whispered, the man's name just a puff of air laced with desperation.

"I've got you," Kendall replied before his lips brushed gently over James' mouth once, twice, before returning with a little more pressure. While completely chaste under the watchful gaze of young eyes, James felt the kiss zing through every nerve ending. When Kendall's hand slid away, James opened his eyes, not even remembering closing them, to find Kendall smiling at him before he returned to where he was working on the rolls for dinner.

Lizzy giggled and ran back into the living room where she settled in with her coloring book and crayons. James looked back and forth between Lizzy and Kendall, both completely unaffected while he felt as if he'd been struck by lightning.

"Could you peek in the oven and see if the little temperature gauge has popped yet?" Kendall asked as he crossed to get something out of the fridge.

And just like that, there was a new normal. Lizzy accepted that her father kissed men and Kendall was treating him as if this was an everyday thing. He could get used to this. _Damn, he wanted to get used to this. _But he couldn't, not yet. There was no guarantee that this would be a regular thing, and getting used to this and having it ripped away would just hurt even more.

"Do you see your family often? I mean, other than around the holidays?" Kendall asked.

James closed the oven and turned to find Kendall holding out a bottle of water toward him while holding a second in his other hand for himself.

"Turkey still has some time," James said as he accepted the bottle of water before leaning back against the sink. "My dad is based out of Cincinnati half the time so we usually meet up a couple times a year. Work usually takes me to New York at least twice a year and I check in with my mom then."

"And your brother?"

"I see Shane for his birthday in June and then head north for a week around Halloween. My niece's birthday is October 30th. We go out to a pumpkin patch, find a hayride. She usually has a party and then Shane does what he calls 'Practice Thanksgiving,' where he makes a full Thanksgiving dinner for just the four of us."

"Sounds like a good arrangement."

James shrugged. "It's not bad. What about you? I know you told me years ago that your dad died when you were young, but I thought your mom lived nearby."

"She did. Moved to Boca with my aunt about four years ago. She used to head north during summers and helped out with Lizzy, but she just can't make the trek anymore. This will probably be the first summer she stays in South Florida."

"What about Jo?"

Kendall looked over his shoulder to double-check that Lizzy was engrossed in her coloring before he folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the fridge.

"For the first few years, she would take Lizzy on weekends to help give me a break. Then she moved to Denver almost two years ago and she's been around a lot less. I've paid to fly her to Cincinnati a few times a year. She stayed with us and helped out here and there. This Christmas trip was supposed to be the start of her being more involved again."

"Ken…" James clamped his mouth shut. He was just trying to look out for Kendall and Lizzy's best interest, but the man was already so touchy about his help on things. He was sure his next words would only start another fight.

"Say it."

"No."

"Jay, just say it."

Clenching his teeth, James glanced into the living room first to see that Lizzy was now playing with one of her new princess dolls.

"Because of Jo's history, I think you've got a solid case to get full legal custody of your daughter. You could-"

"No."

"This would protect both you and her."

"No," Kendall ground out. He pushed off the fridge and leaned against the island separating them. There was no missing the muscle jumping in Kendall's jaw.

"It would give you full say over what is best for Lizzy. It's not taking away Jo's visitation rights."

"And I'm afraid that if Jo thinks she doesn't have joint custody of Lizzy then she'll stop seeing her completely. Joint custody keeps her involved, even if it is only a few times a year."

"I'm sorry I overstepped. I just don't want to see you or Lizzy get hurt down the line." James looked down at the bottle still sealed and tightly clenched both his hands. He only wanted to protect both of them, but all he was doing was reminding Kendall that he was trapped in a bad situation and the first person who was going to get hurt was an innocent little girl. He should never have brought it up. It was the damn lawyer in him that was always checking to make sure that his client was protected.

"Hey," Kendall said.

James' head jerked up to find that Kendall had come around the island and was now standing directly in front of him. His hand landed on James' hip while he stepped close enough that he was practically straddling one of James' legs.

"You're just looking out for us. I appreciate-_we _appreciate it. I just want to keep Jo in Lizzy's life for as long as possible." Kendall leaned in slightly and James couldn't help but brush a quick kiss across his lips.

"You know you're sending so many mixed signals right now," James murmured, longing to dive in for a deeper, longer kiss. "After last night, I thought…"

"I know. And I'm sorry. I just...I just can't let go."

"Don't want you to."

"This is a bad idea." But even as Kendall said it, he leaned in for another kiss, wrapping his other arm around James' back.

"Daddy!" Lizzy gasped.

James started to jerk away but Kendall didn't move as he smiled against James' mouth, his shoulders shaking in silent laughter.

"Did you find more mistletoe?" Lizzy asked. James peered around Kendall to see Lizzy standing at the edge of the kitchen, searching the ceiling for more mistletoe.

"Nope. James just needed a hug."

Lizzy launched herself across the room and slammed her smaller body into them. She wrapped one arm around James and one arm around Kendall, snuggling her face into her father's stomach as she hugged them both for a moment before looking up at James. "Better?"

James cleared his throat and had to try twice before he finally managed a rough. "Much." Right now, he was sure that he was drowning in perfection. It was the best Christmas that he had ever had in his life. Everything-all that he might dream of-right at his fingertips. But if it all fell apart, if Kendall walked away and never wanted to see him again, James wasn't sure how he might survive it. Not after this perfect moment.

"Daddy, you should just marry James. Then we can give him hugs all the time," she said as she marched over to the fridge, completely unaware of how much she'd just unsettled James' entire world. And judging by the way Kendall's whole body flinched, he was shocked as well.

"You would be okay with having two dads?" Kendall's voice was several octaves higher in shock.

Still holding open the refrigerator door, Lizzy looked over her shoulder at Kendall and James and rolled her eyes, promising so many years of sass and attitude in Kendall's future. "Of course. Two daddies are so much better. Mandy Johnson at school has two mommies, but I think having two daddies would be better because you're tall and can let me ride on your shoulders. Only one of Mandy's mommies is tall."

"That's...very sound logic," James said, swallowing back a bark of laughter.

Kendall shook his head and then immediately switched to his dad tone. "What are you doing in the fridge?"

"I need a snack."

"You just had a snack."

"But I'm still hungry," Lizzy whined, her whole body dramatically slumping as if she were wasting away.

"Dinner is in less than an hour. You can wait that long."

"But-"

"Go race James with your new cars. Whoever wins the most of five races gets to put their own whipped cream on dessert."

With a loud _whoop_, Lizzy ran over and grabbed James' hand before starting to tug him back toward the living room. James glanced over at Kendall who was just smirking at him. The sneaky bastard had distracted his daughter from her snack while simultaneously escaping any more complicated questions about mixed signals and letting go.

But they both knew the reprieve was temporary. Lizzy had to sleep eventually.

* * *

**Done! So, it looks like things are still a bit complicated with Kames. But we got more adorable moments with Kames and Lizzy, along with an appearance from Dak!**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! We're sadly starting to close in on the last few chapters of this story. I'd say there are about three or four chapters left, give or take a few. :P The next chapter will probably be posted either Sunday or Monday.**

**Until then! :D**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Another new chapter is here! :D**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, annabellex2, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

"You're coming here next Christmas, right?" Shane asked, though the way he said it came across as more of a demand.

James' brother made that same demand every year, but this was the first time he felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He had a feeling it had something to do with the man quietly moving around the kitchen, grabbing a couple of beers now that the little princess had fallen asleep for the night.

"Lily misses you," Shane continued when he was silent too long.

James snorted. "Lily doesn't like to be in the same room as me."

"She's shy. It takes time for her to warm up to you when she sees you only twice a year. If she saw you more often, she wouldn't be so shy."

"I'm not moving to Philly."

"Then come here for Christmas next year."

James sighed and dropped his head back on the couch cushion. He was stretched out, one leg across the couch and one foot planted on the floor. The room was lit by the twinkling white lights of the Christmas tree and some more lights wrapped around the railing along the stairs to the second floor. The glowing embers from a fire he'd started after dinner cast a low light, creating more shadows. He blinked, staring at the shadows dancing on the vaulted ceiling. He realized that his first impulse was to ask Kendall about his plans for Christmas next year. He wanted to go spend Christmas with his brother and his family, but he wanted Kendall and Lizzy there as well to share it with him. But was there even going to be a next year for them?

"I'll think about it."

"Oh, come on! I-wait...really? What's changed?"

"I'll get back to you on that." It was just too early to tell. He didn't know if he had a future with Kendall, but the one thing he was sure about was that he had no intention of spending another Christmas alone in this house. Not after spending a holiday with people that actually made it feel real. Maybe it was time to sell the cabin.

Shane growled in frustration at him through the phone and he swallowed back a laugh. He didn't _mean _to drive his brother insane. It just came as a bonus.

"Love you, Shay," he murmured.

"Love you too, idiot brother. Text me when you're home safe."

Ending the call, James stretched out his arm and placed his cell phone on the coffee table. He needed to charge it, but he'd plug the damn thing in later. His mother had called several times throughout the day, leaving several guilt-ridden messages. He'd gotten a quick text from his father wishing him a merry Christmas. He'd respond to both later. The general lack of sleep he'd had over the past few nights left him too short on energy to deal with either. For his brother, he made an exception.

The whisper of fabric rubbing against fabric had James opening his eyes again to see Kendall standing over him, a beer extended toward him. "Beer or sleep?"

"Beer," James said, taking the bottle from Kendall as he pushed into a sitting position and pulled his leg back so Kendall could sit on the other end of the couch. "I can try to sleep later."

Kendall smiled and dropped into the chair next to the couch but still a distance from James, as if he was afraid to be within easy grabbing range. James watched him for a moment as he stared at the tree, noticing the tense shoulders and the way he picked at the label rather than drank his beer.

"I'm sorry about the custody thing earlier," James said. He took a sip of his beer then put it on the table next to his phone. He looked up to see Kendall shaking his head, fingers tightening on the bottle in his hands.

"Don't. You've got nothing to be sorry about."

"It's none of my business."

Kendall shrugged. "But you're right about her. Jo is flighty and she jumps into things and listens to bad advice from the wrong people. By getting full legal custody, I can protect Lizzy."

"Do you think that she would walk away from her own daughter?"

A heavy sigh slipped from Kendall and his shoulders slumped.

"I don't know. I'd like to think not, but…" Kendall trailed off before leaning forward and putting his beer on the table. He leaned his forearms on his knees and stared at James. "She was young when she got pregnant with Lizzy. God knows we never talked about kids. She always had some big dream she was chasing. When we met, she wanted to be a singer. Next it was an actress. And then flight attendant so she could travel the world. Most recently, she wants to be a conservationist. She throws herself into these ideas with no real clue what's involved or how she's going to balance that with raising a kid." He paused and rubbed the back of his neck.

"She loves Lizzy. I know she does. But if she thinks that Lizzy doesn't need her because I've got it all handled, I'm scared she'll disappear and it'll crush Lizzy. I don't want her growing up thinking that her own mother doesn't love her."

James bit his lower lip and stared at the tree. He hurt for Kendall and he hurt for Lizy. Kendall spoke of Jo being young when she got pregnant, but Kendall wasn't even twenty-five when his daughter was born and he'd just started a new business. There had been so many nights where they'd laid tangled in each other while Kendall talked about his new shop and all his plans to turn it into _the spot _for custom designs and modifications. He'd been so excited to take on this new challenge. A baby hadn't been part of his plans either, but you only needed to talk to the man for a minute to know that he didn't regret having Lizzy in his life, even if she did change all his plans.

Scratching his chin, James lifted one eyebrow and fought back a smirk. He didn't want Kendall worrying about this now. "Well, I've got ask...was the sex at least good?"

Kendall threw back his head and a bark of loud laughter escaped before he remembered that his daughter was sleeping upstairs. He clapped one hand over his mouth while flipping James off with his free hand. James snickered and grabbed his beer. He sipped it, feeling a little better to see Kendall smiling...well, his eyes were smiling. His mouth was still hidden under his hand.

"Well, if you're going to change your entire life because of one night, you'd at least hope the sex was good," James murmured.

"Asshole," Kendall replied, dropping his hand and grabbing his beer. He tossed back half the contents and put the bottle back on the table. "The sex was average." He sighed heavily and shook his head, a smile still toying with the corners of his mouth. "Of course, I discovered that all the sex I'd had with women was average after I'd been with…" His voice trailed off and his eyes narrowed on James.

He could feel the wicked grin sliding across his face while blood rushed to his groin. Would there ever be a time when he didn't want this man completely? Most likely not and he enjoyed every second of it.

"Was it just me or is it all men you've been with?"

"You're the only man that I've been with. You know that," Kendall growled.

And James had to admit that he loved that. "But I'm not the only one you've been attracted to."

Kendall laughed softly. "Fuck no. In fact, there's this guy whose son attends the same school as Lizzy. His husband is lucky because he has the sweetest ass."

James lost his grin and glared at Kendall, his hands fisting at his sides. This he definitely didn't want to hear about. The idea that Kendall was essentially counting down until Lizzy was old enough to understand dating, and then Kendall was free to fuck whoever he wanted. Put his hands on whoever he wanted. To lick, suck, and kiss-

Kendall gasped and laughed harder, looking as if he was struggling to stay quiet so as not to wake his daughter. "Jealous?"

"Yes," James hissed, not feeling all that great about it.

"And you think I'm not, knowing that you've burned through half the gay community in Cincinnati in the past five years?"

James huffed, some of his anger slipping away. "I wouldn't say half…"

Kendall relaxed and shook his head. "Can you blame me for wanting you to myself?"

"Nope."

A comfortable silence settled between them as they sipped their beers. James let his mind drift, trying to pick through safe conversations when he really wanted to ask if there was any chance of a tomorrow for them once they left the snow-covered Rockies for icy Cincinnati. Last night, Kendall had been adamant that he couldn't do the dating thing, but then Kendall had gradually become more affectionate and open with him following the kiss under the mistletoe. Was he changing his mind? Or maybe he just didn't want to fight and wanted to part on good terms.

Kendall pushed to his feet and moved to stand over James. Leaning forward, he braced one hand on the back of the couch and one hand on the arm of the couch James was resting against. His body blocked out the light from the tree, and James forced himself to remain perfectly still, his hands clenched at his sides.

"Relax," Kendall murmured, brushing his lips across James'. "Lay back the way you were."

James arched one eyebrow at him but wordlessly stretched out along the sofa the way he had while he'd been talking to his brother. Kendall then stretched out on top of him, their bodies pressed tightly together, Kendall's head on the padded arm of the couch next to James'. Every time he inhaled, his chest pressed against Kendall's and he dragged Kendall's breath into his lungs.

"This is not as comfortable as I thought it would be," Kendall grumbled, shifting a little as if he were trying to get in a better position on the couch.

"There's a great big comfortable bed right in the next room," James teased.

"Yeah, but this is right here and you looked comfortable." Kendall leaned forward and pressed a series of small, sweet kisses to James' mouth. James slowly returned each one, letting Kendall's warmth and his scent and the steady rhythm of his breathing sink into him.

"You know, I wasn't all that tired ten minutes ago," James murmured. He let his eyes fall shut, his arms tightening around Kendall.

"Mmmm...kids," Kendall hummed, sounding as if he were falling asleep. "Your body learns to recognize opportunities to sleep and shuts down whether you want it to or not."

"Don't want to sleep. Want to fuck you again."

"Later," Kendall said, his lips brushing across James' in one last lingering kiss.

But James didn't want to sleep. He wanted to soak in this moment, holding Kendall. He wanted to remember the weight of him. The sound of his voice. This wasn't about sex. This was about stealing a moment. Maybe their last moment.

* * *

_May 2014_

_James got out of his car as he watched Kendall wave to an employee and lock the door to the auto shop office. _

_His gut twisted. This had seemed like a good idea when he'd driven down to Kendall's shop, but that was only because the man had been avoiding his calls and texts for more than two weeks. Tracking him down at work felt like his only option. Now that he stood there, he wondered if he should have tried his apartment again. He didn't want to trap Kendall, but what the fuck?_

_For months, they'd spent every weekend together. Hell, they'd started spending more of their weeknights together as well. And it wasn't just sex. Yeah, it may have started as just sex, but now it was dinners, movies, stupid video games, and hours of conversations stretching into the early morning. This was more than sex. It had felt like a hell of a lot more than sex for a few months now, but James had been too much of a coward to try to put words to it._

_And now he was standing in front of Kendall's business as his last employees drove off for the night, nearly outing the man when he was still technically in the closet._

_But when he spotted Kendall's glare, his hands fisted at his sides, he couldn't bring himself to care too much. He was done with giving Kendall space. He wanted to know what the fuck was going on. He wanted Kendall back in his life where he belonged...and he wanted more. He wanted to date. He wanted to introduce Kendall to others as his boyfriend. He wanted to show Kendall that he meant so much to him._

_When he looked at Kendall, James knew he was falling...and he didn't want to stop._

"_What are you doing here?" Kendall demanded. His eyes darted around as if double-checking that they were truly alone in the parking lot. The sun was sinking toward the horizon and there was a steady rush of cars in the distance as the last of evening rush hour dwindled away._

_Heat radiated up from the asphalt after baking in the sun all day, but a chill was sinking into James' bones._

"_Why the hell do you think I'm here?" James snapped. "No calls. No texts."_

"_So?"_

_James' mouth hung open for a second. He took a deep breath to get a handle on his temper before speaking again. "What's going on? Did something happen with your mom or the shop?"_

"_No."_

"_Ken-"_

"_We're done."_

_Those two words crackled from Kendall. James flinched as if they'd lashed at his flesh._

What?

_He rocked back a step to regain his balance as his mind scrambled, but he couldn't pin down any clear thoughts. Nothing made any sense. Everything had been fine when they'd last seen each other...and now this. It felt like he'd been ripped open just by those two words._

"_What are you talking about? Why?"_

"_Doesn't matter," Kendall muttered. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his worn jeans and kept his eyes on the ground. Everything about his body was tense and defensive. "We're done. It was just fun, right?"_

"_Yeah, it started out as some fun, but I thought it became more. I thought…" James' words caught in his throat as Kendall looked up at him through narrowed eyes. His lips were pressed into a hard, thin line._

"_You're nothing to me. Just some easy fuck." Kendall stopped and shook his head, looking down at the ground again. "We're...we're done. Get the fuck out of here."_

_James straightened, lifting his chin as he pulled the shreds of his pride together. It felt like he was dying inside, but he refused to let Kendall know that. "Fine," he bit out and walked back to his car._

_This had been a mistake. All of it. He should never have even tried._

* * *

Kendall sat on the edge of the spare bed, clutching his phone with both hands. He'd just hung up with the airline. The weather had stayed clear over Christmas in Cincinnati and they managed to get the airport dug out from the snow and ice.

He and Lizzy had tickets on the 11:10 a.m. flight directly to Cincinnati. If they were going to make their flight, they'd need to leave for the airport within the next hour...but he didn't know how to tell James. He didn't want to tell James.

He didn't know _what _to tell James.

The past two days had been...perfect. The man had gone out of his way to make sure that both he and Lizzy had a fantastic holiday. He was sweet, charming, funny, and protective. Everything that he'd remembered of their too-brief time together years ago. James was like a drug. Now that he'd had a taste of heaven, Kendall couldn't imagine walking away from him.

But James didn't fit into their lives. Not really.

Sure, he'd made a great point of moving so fluidly into their lives over the past two days, but they were all on vacation and trapped together. Everyone was happy and healthy. What happened when James was working downtown and stuck in meetings all day? Was he going to be able to step away for doctor's appointments, school recitals, games, and emergencies? Was he going to be there after a long day of work only to come home to a messy home, no dinner, and a feverish, vomiting child that just wants to be held?

Kendall did it because Lizzy was his and he loved her more than anything in the world. But while James was happy to agree to all of it now when things were going so smoothly, what would happen after a few weeks or a few months when he was worn down by the daily grind of life? If it was just him and James, Kendall was willing to take the risk of James saying "Fuck it all" and walking away.

But what about Lizzy?

His phone suddenly started vibrating and he jerked upright, flipping the screen over to find Jo's name flashing across it. Swallowing back a groan, he answered the call.

"Hey, Kendall! Merry Christmas!" she said, though her cheerful tone sounded forced.

Kendall clenched his teeth and shoved aside the first few comments that came to mind, most of them centering around the fact that she'd failed to call or answer her phone yesterday so that Lizzy could wish her mother a Merry Christmas and tell her what Santa had brought her.

"Hey, Jo. Give me a second to get Lizzy," he murmured, already pushing to his feet. He'd just set her up with a bowl of cereal in the living room and Spongebob on the television when he'd disappeared upstairs to call the airline.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you for a minute."

Kendall stopped dead, a sinking feeling pulling his stomach down to his toes. Nothing good came of Jo needing to talk to him. But he could give her the benefit of the doubt. "What's up?"

"Are you still in Denver?"

"Yeah, we've got a flight out in a few hours," Kendall said, carefully avoiding talking about James. He wasn't ready for Jo to know about him, not when he wasn't sure what Jo wanted this time.

"Oh, I…"

Jo's voice softly drifted off and Kendall scrubbed his hand over his face, trying to swallow back his frustration. "What's up?" he repeated.

"Would you be able to get me a plane ticket back to Denver? Or even to Cincinnati?"

"What? Where the hell are you? What's going on?"

"Chris and I had a fight once we got to Las Vegas and he just left me this morning. I had to sneak out of the hotel because I didn't have any money to pay the rest of the bill," Jo said with a sniffle. "I've only got about forty bucks on me."

"Fuck, Jo," he groaned. He dropped back on the edge of the bed. Pain speared through his temple as rising tension brought on a headache.

"It's not my fault. He's a total asshole."

_Yeah, an asshole you brought around our daughter, _he thought but swallowed back the comment.

"I just want to come home. If you could just get me a plane ticket to either Denver so I can get my stuff, or even to Cincinnati, I can stay with you and Lizzy."

And then what? He'd be taking care of Jo until something new and shiny caught her eye and then she'd be back out of their lives until she needed more money or someone to save her from her own bad decisions.

"No," He said, and it felt good.

"What?" she gasped, sounding utterly surprised that he'd said the word. Had he never told her "no" before?

"No," he repeated. He stood and started to pace the bedroom, shoving his free hand through his hair. "I've wasted too much money recently running back and forth between Denver. Lizzy was supposed to be out here for two weeks and then you were going to pay to send her back. But I've flown out here twice at great expense during that time. I've had to take time off work to make these trips. My credit cards are nearly maxed out. I've got to focus on getting our _daughter _home safely. I'm sorry, but you need to figure this out. I can't help you this time."

"But, Kendall, you have to help-"

"Why?" His question seemed to stop her short because the line stayed silent as he waited for her answer. When she didn't reply after several seconds, he continued. "We're not anything to each other. You're not my wife or girlfriend. We're not even friends. We had a kid together and my responsibility is to her. Not you."

"_Please_, Kendall. I'm stuck. You have to-"

"No, Jo. Call your parents."

"But I don't want to. They keep bitching, saying I shouldn't have moved out here in the first place. They don't understand."

"Jo, no. Figure it out."

"Mommy!" Lizzy's high-pitched squeal had Kendall turning on his heel to find his daughter standing in the open doorway, both her open hands extended toward the cell phone pressed to his ear. "I wanna talk to Mommy."

"Kendall, you can't do this!" Jo continued, adding to the throbbing in his temples.

"Figure it out. We're leaving to catch our flight home," he snapped and ended the call. He shoved his phone into the back pocket of his jeans so he could focus his attention on his daughter.

"Lizzy-"

"Mommy! I wanted to talk to Mommy! Call her back!" she started shouting, revving up for a full-blown temper tantrum. Kendall was grateful that she didn't have them often, but he knew all the travel and changes were leaving her unsettled. This had been coming and some small part of him was grateful that it was hitting now rather than at the crowded airport or on the plane.

"Mommy had to go, Speed Racer. I'm sorry. We need to pack."

"I don't want to pack. I wanna talk to Mommy!"

"Our plane leaves in a few hours. We're going home."

Lizzy lifted her tear-streaked face to Kendall and asked around gulps of air, "What about my toys?" The distraction took her attention off Jo, but Kendall didn't feel like he was on any firmer ground.

"James will ship them to you. I told you this yesterday. We can't take it all on the plane with us."

"But I don't want to leave it. I can't leave it! Where's Mommy?"

Kendall looked up to see James slowly approaching as Lizzy flopped down on the ground and started crying loudly. The other man looked pale. Kendall doubted that he'd overheard his conversation with Jo-which he wasn't even willing to think about the possible repercussions of just yet-but he undoubtedly heard what he'd told Lizzy. They were leaving.

Their eyes met and they watched each other for several seconds. James opened his mouth to say something but closed it without making a sound. By the look on his face, Kendall was willing to bet the last few bucks in his wallet that James had been about to ask him to stay, to linger in their private heaven for just a bit longer. And it would kill Kendall to say no, but he would.

Taking a deep breath, James flashed him a weak smile that slipped away almost as quickly as it formed as the mask slipped into place and he looked down at Lizzy.

"Hey, little one, I need you to help me get your stuff packed so you can make your flight," James said softly. He knelt and gently ran his hand over the top of her head. "Don't you miss all your toys back home?"

"But what about my racetrack and castle? And my dolls?"

"I think we should be able to pack your dolls, but I promise to carefully pack up your track and castle. It'll reach your home tomorrow."

"Promise?"

James swallowed hard enough for Kendall to hear it and nodded.

"Promise," he said roughly. He held out his hand to Lizzy and forced a smile. "Let's go pack so your daddy can pack his things."

With a nod and a sniffle, Lizzy took his hand and let him lead her back to the other bedroom where her things were. Kendall collapsed on the bed, his hands clenched in front of him to keep them from shaking. He was grateful for James' soft touch with Lizzy, but no matter the temptation, he knew he couldn't have James in his life. Not right now. Now when he was sure Lizzy was about to lose her mother.

Jo was going to make him pay for saying "no." If he wasn't going to help her, then she was just going to cut him off. She'd stop calling and she'd stop accepting his calls as she pouted about not getting her away. And cutting him off meant that Lizzy was going to suffer. She would ask about her mom, demand to talk to her, and Jo would refuse to answer any call from him. She'd done this damn stunt once before when he'd tried to talk her out of going to Denver. She refused to take his calls and he'd been forced to get a disposable phone so that Lizzy could call.

He didn't know how long he sat there listening to Lizzy and James talking softly in the next room. James' voice was sweet and gentle, while Lizzy's was filled with her usual excitement, her attention now directed toward the coming plane ride rather than what she was leaving behind. Kendall had a feeling it wouldn't hit her until they were on the plane that she was truly leaving her new friend behind.

The sound of James clearing his throat jerked Kendall's head up to see the man standing in the doorway. His face was still pale and there was a deep sadness to his beautiful hazel eyes.

"Her bag is packed. We've just got to gather the last of her toys downstairs," James said. He paused and cleared his throat again. "She's making her bed right now."

"Good. Our flight is at eleven." Kendall pushed to his own feet and grabbed the backpack he'd been using to hold his few belongings. He'd managed to run a change of clothes through the washer and dryer on Christmas so he at least had clean clothes to wear, but it would be nice to be home so that he wasn't living out of a single bag.

"I'll take care of shipping her toys after I drop you off."

Kendall kept his eyes on the interior of the bag. He was a coward. He couldn't even look at James any longer. "Thanks."

"Is there anything else I can do to help?"

Everything in Kendall's chest tightened and he could barely draw air into his lungs. He wanted to say come home with him, build a life with him and Lizzy, but before he could even try to formulate some kind of wish, his cell phone rang. He looked down at where he'd left it on the comforter to see Jo's name flash across the screen.

James would never be Jo, but he couldn't bring James into his life when Jo was set to upset everything. It wasn't fair to James and it wasn't fair to Lizzy. He needed to get things in order, get his daughter through the coming rough-patch. James deserved something better than the soul-grinding insanity of his day-to-day life.

"If you could drop us off at the airport, I've got the rest. Thanks."

James didn't say anything, but Kendall could feel his eyes on him, as if he were waiting for Kendall to say something...anything that would make this better, but he couldn't. As much as it killed him, he had to do what was best for Lizzy. Not what he wanted.

"This is wrong," James said firmly before leaving the room. Kendall stared at the empty doorway for a moment. Even with Jo persistently calling his cell phone, his heart had to agree with James.

This was wrong, but he wasn't sure how to fix it.

* * *

**Done! So...yeah, this chapter was a lot. I'M SORRY!**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! You know, despite all the torture. :P The next chapter of this probably won't be up until a little later in the week, but there shouldn't be too long of a wait for that!**

**Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello again everyone! A new chapter is here!**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Side1ways, winterschild11, Guest, RainbowDiamonds, and annabellex2 for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Snow was falling again. It had been falling off and on for the past three days since Kendall and Lizzy had left Denver for Cincinnati. At least another couple of feet had fallen in the mountains, adding new weight to the limbs of the pine trees.

James sat in the office, staring out the window, watching the snow drift down. His eyes kept getting drawn back to the snowman Kendall and Lizzy had built as he was buried under more and more snow.

On the first day, he'd managed to get all of Lizzy's toys packed up safely and then shipped off to the address Kendall had given him. The delivery company had promised that they would arrive early the next day. He texted Kendall that the toys had been shipped and even included a picture of the tracking number, but Kendall never replied.

By the second day, he could no longer sit in the living room. The sight of the Christmas tree brought up too many memories and Lizzy and Kendall. He could hear her high-pitched laugh and see in his mind the colorful pictures she'd spent hours coloring while they'd stayed with him. He could feel Kendall's body pressing him into the couch, smell his scent mixed with whatever floral soap he'd found in the bathroom.

But moving into the office to avoid thoughts of Lizzy and Kendall brought him back to the damn snowman. He couldn't escape them. Not in this house. So, it was just easier to drink. The alcohol numbed the pain, helped him sleep, made it harder for him to do stupid, impulsive things like call Kendall and beg him to let him into his life.

Dropping his head back into the sofa, James closed his eyes. What the fuck was he supposed to do?

When he opened his eyes again, it was darker outside and one of the lamps in the office had been turned on. He blinked to find that he could see Dak's reflection in the windows along with his own. He stared at it for a second, watching the reflection smirk at him before lifting a mug to his lips to take a drink of coffee.

Coffee...he smelled coffee.

James jerked upright and turned to see that Dak really was sitting next to him on the couch wearing a pair of gray slacks and a black sweater. In his hand was a white mug from which he was sipping coffee as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"I'm not dreaming," James said, his voice still rough from sleep.

"Nope, not dreaming," Dak confirmed. He leaned to his right and placed his mug on the end table next to the sofa.

James looked around to find the glass he'd been drinking whiskey out of had been replaced with a steaming mug of coffee. He hesitated. He didn't want to be sober, preferring the softening bliss of intoxication to numb the pain, but he knew he couldn't keep hiding in a bottle. With a sigh, he picked up the mug and took a sip, then fought the urge to roll his eyes. Two sugars and a healthy splash of cream. The damn man didn't forget anything.

"How?" James asked between drinks. The warmth curled through his chest and pushed back the fog in his brain.

"I called your brother. He gave me the address and the code for the garage."

James placed his mug back on the end table and sighed.

"No, I mean how did you know?" He watched Dak's reflection give a small shrug.

"You didn't answer any of my calls or respond to any of my texts the past two days. I had a feeling."

James remained silent, staring out the window, forcing his eyes to focus on the snowman that he could barely see in the darkness rather than on Dak's concerned face. He didn't like Dak seeing him like this, weak, broken, and so much of his life just a big charade.

He'd pretended that he could come out to Denver each Christmas and live in the memory of having a perfect family that loved him. And when Kendall and Lizzy had been there, he'd created another perfect facade of a happy family that loved and cared about him. But when they left, it all fell apart because none of it was real. His parents saw him as a status symbol, some little token to brag about to their friends. His brother had been smart enough to escape to something normal, but James couldn't bring himself to intrude on his life.

And then Kendall...he didn't know with Kendall. He didn't know if the man didn't trust him with his daughter or simply didn't want him enough.

"Talk to me," Dak simply said.

James shook his head for a second, trying to find the words. "Kendall...left. He didn't want me."

Dak held up his hand, stopping anything else. "We'll get to that. I want you to start with your family. I want to know what's going on and why you've been coming out here alone for years. Then we'll talk about Kendall and why I'm not going to hunt him down and kill him."

A ghost of a smile drifted across his lips for a second as he looked at Dak. They'd met in college, roommates their freshman year and they had just instantly clicked. Most of the time, their personalities were as different as night and day, but it worked for them. And while Dak had a dark, brooding sexiness to him, there had never been anything else between them. Just an instant bond as if they'd been meant to be brothers.

But while they'd shared jokes, fears, and adventures, James had never talked to Dak about his family. He'd known about Dak's own family troubles, but he'd also met Dak's parents. They were perfect. Warm and welcoming at all times, the two only reminded James of how far his own family was from the loving, supportive environment that he wanted and needed.

Dak waited, watching him with a worried and expectant look. So, for the second time in his life, James opened his mouth and started talking about his parents. He told Dak about growing up in that manipulative, backstabbing environment. He told him about Christmases and the picture of happiness they painted for him and Shane. By the time he reached the details of the divorce and the ensuing fallout, they'd moved to the kitchen to make a dinner of turkey leftovers.

A new pot of coffee was made when James switched to talking about Kendall. Dak had been there when they met, but James had never told him about exactly what had gone on while they were sleeping together. He'd never told Dak about how they stretched a quickie into a weekend-long orgy of sex, food, and cuddling. He'd never told Dak of how he'd wanted more, how he'd been torn on how to approach a man who was in his first gay relationship about dating and being in public together. He'd never told Dak that he'd fallen in love with Kendall and missed out on his chance to tell him out of fear of losing him.

Blinking bleary eyes, James looked out the window of the office where they'd settled again for dinner. The slate gray sky was starting to turn lighter, pinker along the edge of the horizon. The sun was coming up. He'd talked through the night.

"What the hell do I do now?" he asked, his voice was hoarse and scratchy from talking for so long.

Dak frowned as he shifted to lean forward, his elbows resting on his thighs. "You're not going to like my answer."

"What?"

"You have to let him make the next move. You made it clear how you felt, that you wanted to be a part of his life. He's the one who walked away."

"You went after Jett," James pointed out and then immediately jumped to his feet, looking around as if he expected to see Jett step out of a shadow. "Where's Jett? I totally forgot-"

Dak huffed out a laugh. "He's at home. He understands."

James flopped back down on the sofa and groaned. "Fuck."

"I also went after Jett because _I _was the one who screwed up. You have to give Kendall time to figure this out."

"And if he doesn't?"

Dak gave him a sympathetic smile before pushing to his feet and picking up both their dirty mugs. "Come on. Go get packed. I've got the pilots on standby."

He got it. If Kendall couldn't find his way to James, couldn't find a way to let him in his life with Lizzy, then James had to let him go. Kendall had to decide that James was worth the chance. He'd put everything out there, now there was nothing more that he could do about it. James could understand it. He certainly didn't fucking like it, but he understood it.

* * *

When the knock came at the door, Kendall was ready to scream.

If it could go wrong that day, it had and in spectacular fashion. It started that morning with Lizzy not liking anything he picked out for her to wear to daycare, then they lost one of her shoes, and then she simply didn't want to go to daycare, which resulted in a screaming fit. By that point, he tucked her under his arm and carried her to the truck. Of course, after dropping her off at daycare, his truck broke down on the way to the shop, which was fucking embarrassing. The alternator that he'd put off replacing finally gave up the ghost and he had to call one of his employees to tow the truck into the shop, making him late.

Of course, then he had two mechanics call in sick and one of the hydraulic lifts break. By the time he got Lizzy home that night, she was still in her stubborn mood, demanding to talk to James on the phone while Kendall proceeded to burn dinner. It wasn't even seven o'clock, but he was ready for his daughter to go to bed for the night so he could have a drink and fall into bed himself and pray that he'd be able to sleep just a few hours without being haunted by thoughts of James.

Drying his hands off on a kitchen towel, he walked to the front door and dragged in a deep breath before pulling it open. On the other side stood Jo and he nearly slammed it shut in her face. He didn't have the energy for this. Not that night. Not after the day he'd had.

"What?" he demanded. This was the first he'd seen or talked to her since she'd demanded he buy her a plane ticket from Las Vegas. She'd stopped calling after that first day and he'd definitely not tried to call her.

"Hey," she murmured, looking up at him and then away. "I thought I'd stop by and visit Lizzy. I was hoping we could talk too."

It was on the tip of Kendall's tongue to tell her to come back another night, that he was exhausted, but before he could even take a breath to speak, Lizzy squealed "Mommy!" from the other end of the room.

Swallowing a groan, he stepped out of the way just in time for Lizzy to hurl her small body at Jo, who dropped to her knees in the open doorway and opened her arms for the little girl.

"Hey, Speed Racer, why don't you take Mommy into your room? You can show her all the cool things that Santa got you while I finish cleaning up the kitchen," Kendall suggested.

With that, Lizzy was breaking free of her mother and running back across the living room, leading the way to her bedroom down the small hallway. Jo flashed him a shaky smile as she walked by him and followed Lizzy into the bedroom. He might not be thrilled that Jo was there, but at least she could buy him a few minutes to get the kitchen clean and pack tomorrow's lunch for Lizzy and himself.

To his surprise, more than an hour passed with neither leaving Lizzy's bedroom. He heard their laughter trickling down the hall and some muffled voices, but they stayed in her bedroom long enough for him to clean, pack lunches, grab a shower, and even sip a beer before he finally wandered down the hall to peer into Lizzy's bedroom. It was as if a toy bomb had exploded overhead, dropping down on the room a shower of dolls, race cars, building blocks, and God only knows what else. He had no idea that she'd accumulated so many toys. Of course, her room looked more cramped and cluttered now that the new castle and racetrack were set up.

"Everything okay in here?" he asked, leaning against the doorjamb.

"Yep," Jo said, looking over her shoulder at Kendall from where she sat on the floor.

"Mommy and I are pretending that the princess is running an ice cream store," Lizzy announced.

"That's great, but it's bath time."

"Aww...I don't wanna stop," Lizzy whined.

"I can handle it," Jo volunteered. Kendall prepared to argue, but Jo pressed on. "I'll help her with the bath and then we'll do a bedtime story."

"You sure?" He didn't trust her. Not in the least.

"Of course. Go rest. I've got it."

Kendall nodded and headed back to the kitchen to grab the rest of his beer before wandering into the living room.

He turned on the TV but kept the sound low so that he could listen for catastrophe. And he knew that something would go wrong. Something always got out of hand with Jo. She found herself too quickly in over her head with Lizzy and was calling him for help.

But time passed and there were no shouts of help or tears from Lizzy. He could hear the laughing and the inevitable splashing that sent water onto the floor that he would have to mop up, but at least it sounded like his daughter was getting clean and having fun with her mother at the same time. A short time later, they were out of the bathroom and back in Lizzy's bedroom where the laughing finally settled down and he could hear only the soft murmur of Jo's voice.

Kendall walked into the kitchen and grabbed a second beer just to keep himself from walking back to her bedroom to check on them both. It wasn't until almost nine-thirty that Jo finally wandered back into the living room. Her sweater was damp, but she didn't look worse for wear after surviving a Lizzy bath and bedtime story.

"You want a drink?" he asked, getting up of his chair to walk into the kitchen.

"Water or some iced tea would be fine," she said, following behind him.

Kendall pulled out a glass and filled it with ice and tea. "Any problems?"

"Nope," Jo replied, a tentative smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "We actually managed to keep at least half of the bathwater in the bathtub this time."

"That's always a plus," he muttered as he handed her the glass.

Jo frowned and shook her head at him. "Are you going to relax around me or not?"

"I don't know," Kendall said with a huff. Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned back against the sink. "The last time we spoke on the phone, we didn't exactly end it on good terms. I had no idea you were back in Cincinnati, and I can't say that I understand why you're here now."

"Yeah, that wasn't a great day."

Kendall waited for Jo to continue, to explain...to say something that would give him a clue as to what she wanted now, but she just stared at the glass in her hands.

"Jo…" he sighed and it seemed to finally break her out of her trance.

"I called my parents like you told me to, and it was a horrible call. They...they agreed to buy the plane ticket, but I had to come home, home to Cincinnati. I had to move back in with them. They said that it was time for me to grow up and to stop taking advantage of you." Jo paused and looked up at him. "And they're right. I have taken advantage of you because I'm scared of screwing up our daughter's life the same way I've screwed up my life."

"You haven't screwed up your life."

A harsh, bitter laugh escaped Jo and she shook her head. "I've totally fucked up my life. And it just goes to show how much you've got yours together since I've not managed to fuck up your life-considering how much I keep flitting in and out with my crazy ideas. You've got everything together and you've given Lizzy this perfect life, and I keep clinging to you as a life raft whenever I get in over my head."

Kendall dropped his arms to his sides and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. There wasn't anything she was saying that he exactly disagreed with, but he also didn't want her feeling bad. He knew the things she did weren't done out of malice. She didn't intentionally try to disrupt his life at every turn. As much as the woman drove him absolutely insane, she wasn't a bad person.

"You haven't fucked up your life. You're...you're still trying to find your way. I've known for years, long before we even met, that I wanted to start my own shop and build cars. Knowing that allowed me to focus. You'll figure it out."

Jo drew in a deep breath and nodded. "And while I'm figuring that out, I need to be more involved in our daughter's life. I _want_ to be more involved."

"Does this mean you've moved back permanently?"

"Yes, but I'm living with my parents for a while." She frowned and gave a little self-deprecating roll of her eyes. "At least until I get a steady job and prove that I'm going to be responsible, I'm living with them. I'd like to go back to having Lizzy on weekends. She'd be staying with me at my parents', but my mom and dad said that they'd be there to help me as I figure things out. You can give me her whole schedule-soccer games, dance, gymnastics, whatever-and I'll make sure she's on time for all of it. I promise."

"Okay," he said with a nod.

"I'm not going to be perfect like you, but I'll get better."

"Perfect? I'm not perfect."

"Of course you are. You keep Lizzy on this great schedule. You make sure that she's always dressed and clean and happy and on time for all of her things. Every time I'm with Lizzy all I hear about is how you do this and how you do that. Daddy always does it better."

His heart softened at Jo's words. He hadn't realized that Lizzy talked about him to her mother when he wasn't around. "You know she doesn't mean anything by it. It doesn't mean I do it better. I just have a routine and she's used to it. She can get accustomed to you, too."

"Thanks, Kendall."

"For?"

"Giving me a second chance," Jo stopped and rolled her eyes. "And a third. And a fourth. I don't deserve it after everything I've put you through, so...thanks."

Kendall nodded and closed his eyes. A part of him was terrified that Jo was serious and that she'd actually stick to her new plan. While she'd never spoken like this before, she'd been adamant about other changes in her life that never seemed to stick. He liked to think that with her parents' help that maybe she would find some direction and a strong sense of responsibility for her daughter. Jo's parents had never been particularly supportive when their only daughter managed to get pregnant with no intention of marrying the man responsible. But maybe they were finally coming around. He owed it to Lizzy to give Jo and her family another chance.

Some of the tension filling his shoulders slipped away and Kendall opened his eyes again, only to have them catch on the latest drawing that Lizzy had put up on the refrigerator.

It was another of him and Lizzy and James at Christmas. This time, they were racing cars around the track. God, he missed James, but he knew he couldn't reach out to him. He'd treated the man so badly. He'd used him in Denver-not just for shelter for him and his daughter, but he'd used him physically and emotionally. Being with James made the world seem a little less overwhelming. For a brief period of time, he didn't question every little thing he did with his daughter and he didn't feel like failure was waiting for him just around the corner. James made him feel strong, confident.

"Kendall...who's James?"

Kendall jerked his head up at her unexpected question. He stood up straight suddenly and he could feel his cheeks heating, leaving him praying that his embarrassment was at least a little masked. "James?"

Jo stepped over to the counter so that she was standing a little closer to him and took a sip of her iced tea before setting it down. "Lizzy mentioned James while she was telling me about Christmas."

"Just a friend." He cleared his throat and gave a little shrug. "He let us stay with him until we could get a flight out. No big deal." Grabbing a clean rag he'd folded up next to the sink, he started to wipe down the spotless counters. He couldn't look her in the eye, not when talking about James.

"Just a friend?" she repeated, but he could hear very clearly that she didn't buy it, so Kendall didn't say a word. "Lizzy said that you kissed him under the mistletoe. She also said that she wanted you to marry him so that she could have two daddies."

Kendall stopped wiping and squeezed his eyes shut as his heart gave a little stutter at her words. He'd really hoped that Lizzy had forgotten about all of that. It had been Christmas and Kendall had let himself give in to the fairy tale dream that he could have a life with James. It had been cruel to all of them.

"Come on, Kendall. Who's James? Did you date?"

Forcing his fingers to unclench around the rag he was still holding, he opened his eyes but kept his focus on the counter. "Sort of. It was a long time ago. No big deal."

"No big deal?" she gasped and Kendall had to finally look up at her. "You're gay!"

"I'm not-" he started to shout back and then stopped himself and just growled. Okay, he was gay. He'd just never really thought about it much, let alone said it out loud. When he was with James, he was _with James_. There weren't other men or other women because James was everything. And when Lizzy came into his life, there wasn't room for anyone else. Sighing loudly, he admitted, "I'm bi. I like men and women."

"You never told me."

Kendall looked over at her hurt tone and fought the urge to roll his eyes again. It wasn't her business, but he kept that comment to herself. "It doesn't matter."

"What about James? Does he live in Denver?"

"No, and I'm not talking about James with you."

Jo snatched up a towel and balled it up before throwing it at his head. He barely had time to dodge it as it bounced off the cabinet and hit the floor. "I've told you about all the guys I've dated."

"Because I needed to know they could be trusted to be around our daughter," Kendall quickly shot back. "You don't need to know about James because he's not going to be around." He walked over to the fridge, jerked open the door hard enough to rattle the various condiments inside and pulled out another beer. He never drank this much on a night when he had to get up early for work...Fuck, he never drank this much period, but he needed it if Jo was going to suddenly start digging around in his personal life.

"Kendall, can't we be friends at least?" Jo asked, taking him by surprise. "We made a freaking kid together, and it looks like we're going to be in each other's lives for a really long time. Wouldn't it be smart if we were friends?"

Kendall dropped his head back and let loose a low groan. He couldn't argue with logic, and that was some damn good logic.

"Who the hell are you and what have you done with Jo?" he grumbled as he walked into the living room. He plopped down in the one armchair and downed half the beer he'd opened.

"Let's just say that getting abandoned by the guy I thought was _the one _and then not having you to lean on was a fucking wake-up call." Jo stepped over to his extended legs and sat on the end of the couch closest to him. "Plus my parents have lectured me a lot over the past three days. I'm not saying that I'm not going to totally screw up again, but I want to at least try to make up for how I've messed up your life."

Kendall wasn't going to let her off the hook by lying and saying that she hadn't screwed up his life, but there was some good. "I got Lizzy, so it's hasn't all been bad."

"Good. Now tell me about James," Jo pressed, proving that she hadn't forgotten about him. "When did you 'sort of' date?"

"Years ago."

"Before Lizzy was born?" Jo said, showing no signs that she was bothered by his clipped tone. In fact, she scooted to the edge of the cushion.

"Yes."

"Why did you stop?" Kendall just gave her a blank look, lifting one eyebrow. "Because of Lizzy? He dumped you because you had a kid on the way?"

"No!" Kendall jerked forward and put his beer on the coffee table before he could spill it. "I ended it because I knew I needed to focus on the baby and you. I didn't have time to see anyone."

Jo moved to sit back on the sofa, her brow furrowed as if she was confused by what he was telling her. "So did you keep in contact all these years? Still friends?"

"No. When I ran into him in Denver, it was the first time I'd seen him in years."

"So let me get this straight, you dump a guy, don't talk to him for years, and then he offers to take you _and your daughter _in during a blizzard over Christmas?"

"Pretty much."

"Wow," she breathed. "How was he with Lizzy? She just glows when she talks about him."

"Good." Kendall sighed and corrected himself. "Amazing actually. He was great at playing with her, had the cutest conversations, and even handled her temper tantrums with grace. James is a lawyer. He's brilliant and great and handling people. I just never expected him to be so good with kids, too."

"Soooo…"

"Soooo...what?" he asked. His stomach clenched at her impish smile. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Jo so excited. Or rather, excited towards him.

"Are you going to call him and ask him out again?"

"What?" Kendall launched himself out of his chair and paced across the room. He was _not_ having this conversation. He was not going to let himself think about such a horrid temptation. He'd been so close in Denver to giving in, to begging James to be a part of his life, but he couldn't for Lizzy's sake. "No, of course not."

"Why? You just said he's great with Lizzy. Do you two not get along anymore? I figured with the mistletoe kiss…"

"No, we get along fine," he ground out, stomping down on any attempts by his mind to pull up memories of kissing or touching James. "And he is great with Lizzy. He's...he's perfect. But it wouldn't work. I've got to focus on Lizzy."

"And?"

"And what?" he said, stopping his pacing so that he could look at Jo.

"I'll have her weekends. There are such things as babysitters. I'm sure after two days with you, he understands what your life is like with her. Does he not want to date you because you've got a kid?"

"No, he's great with her. Adores her. Its...it's just that...what if it doesn't work? What if Lizzy gets attached to him and it doesn't work?"

"And what if you both get attached to him and it _does_ work?" she asked, a smug smile spreading across her face. When Kendall didn't answer, she gave a soft chuckle. "I hate to say it, but it's kind of nice to see that you can fuck up, too."

"Sure I can fuck up. I do it all the time. But James-"

"Tell me you don't care about him," Jo dared him. "Tell me you don't ache to date him."

Kendall clamped his mouth shut and glared at the mother of his child. She had him there. He couldn't utter those words. He'd give nearly anything to have James back in his life.

"What about Lizzy?" he murmured.

She sighed, looking a little less confident. "We all sit down with her. Have a talk. If he cares for her like you say, he'll be willing to do that much, right?"

"Definitely."

"So you take a chance."

"What if he doesn't want me? What he won't give me another chance? I left him, Jo...twice."

Jo's smile returned. "What if he does?"

* * *

**Done! So, it looks like there just might be hope for Kames yet!**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! So, I thought that there were at least two more chapters left, but it looks like the next chapter will be the last one. That will more than likely be up either this weekend or next week sometime. Also, ****Happy Holidays everyone! And for those who celebrate it, Merry Christmas! I hope you all have a great and relaxing holiday! :D**

**Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello everyone! We've officially made it to the final chapter of Christmas Beautiful!**

**Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter and this story in general. I would also like to give a huge thank you to Guest, Side1ways, winterschild11, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing! I also have to give a special thank you to RainbowDiamonds whose story Magic (which if you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it) was a big inspiration for this story. :)**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

James tugged at the French cuffs on his white dress shirt and then checked his cufflinks again, while Dak fussed in the mirror with his tie. The man didn't look nervous in the least. In fact, it was like he was buzzing with excitement. But he got it. Jett was pretty damn fantastic and he fit Dak perfectly. James didn't have a single doubt that they were going to be incredibly happy together. The wedding was just one little hoop to jump through in Dak's mind that got him a step closer to claiming Jett in front of the world.

"Do we need to have the talk?" James asked dryly.

"Talk?" Dak's hands froze just above his tie and he furrowed his brow at James' reflection.

"About the birds and the bees. I _am_ your best man after all, and I-"

"Fuck you," Dak said with a chuckle. "If I don't have that stuff figured out by this point, there's no helping me."

"I'll agree with you on that."

"Trust me, Jett and I have got the sex down to an art. We-"

James groaned and put up both hands in surrender. "Enough, Cassanova. Have pity on those of us going through a dry spell."

His friend just laughed as he continued to fuss with his appearance.

It was the first day of the new year and James was sadly lacking in a hangover-a first in too many years. He'd crashed at Dak's family's mansion and drank, in moderation, with Dak and his family and some select friends as they rang in the new year. Then they were up early for one last rehearsal before an elegant brunch was served. The conclusion of the brunch saw them dressing for the wedding that was going to be held in the Zevon ballroom, which would be followed by an early dinner.

It all sounded wonderful and Dak's mother, Annie, had gone out of her way to make sure that he felt included in this family event, but there was no shaking the feeling that something was missing. And James knew exactly what, or rather _who_, that was.

_Kendall_.

Fuck, he missed Kendall and Lizzy. Dak, Jett, and the rest of Dak's family were doing everything they could to keep him busy and moving at all times, but his mind still drifted to the man who had walked away from him for a second time.

He needed to let go, move on. Some small part of him wanted to say fuck it and drink and fuck his way through Cincinnati until the aching finally stopped, but deep down he knew that would never work. This was worse than their separation five years ago. In Denver, he'd been able to actually tell Kendall he wanted more, that he'd cared for the man, that he wanted to be a part of his life with his daughter. But none of that was enough for Kendall.

But now wasn't the time for wallowing in his own misery. He had plenty of time ahead of him after the wedding to think about what he could have done differently to win over the man.

Dak turned away from the mirror to face James. They were both dressed in black slacks, white shirts, and dark blue vests. Jett wore a lighter blue vest and had disappeared not too long ago to help Dak's sister Veronica with something mysterious.

"Do I look good enough to marry?" Dak asked with a smirk.

"Well, not enough for _me _to marry, but I think Jett will approve," James said, then grinned. "Lucky for you, Jett's got much lower standards."

Dak smiled back, but as he stood there, watching James, his expression grew softer with a touch of worry in his eyes.

"Thanks," he murmured. "Thanks for being my brother when I was away at college and always being there when I was a grumpy ass."

"Don't do this, D," James grumbled, trying to ignore the growing tightness in his chest. He did love Dak like a brother, always would.

"I've gotta say it. I love you. I'd do anything for you."

James grabbed Dak's shoulder and pulled him into a rough bear hug, not caring if he wrinkled their shirts or messed up Dak's dark hair.

"Love you too, asshole," he mumbled. "The only thing I need from you is to be happy."

With a couple thumps to James' back, Dak released his friend and stepped back. "I think we've got the happy covered, but I'm hoping to give you a little something to make you happy."

"I don't-" James' words were cut off by a knock on the door to the bedroom they were using to prep in.

Jett stuck his head in the narrow opening and grinned at them. "Oh good, you're dressed. I've got someone here who'd like to say hi to you, James."

James arched one brow at Jett, but he wasn't able to get any words off his tongue as Jett opened the door a little further and Lizzy came running into the room dressed in a long, puffy dress, a tiny tiara in her hair, and Wonder Woman sneakers.

"James!" she squealed and thew her arms open as she ran to him.

Dropping to one knee, he immediately scooped her up and swung her around once as he stood before pulling her tight against his chest. She smelled of flowers and sugar. Her slender arms wrapped tightly around his neck, threatening to choke him, but he didn't care. He just couldn't believe she was there.

It was only when he felt her pushing against his shoulder that he relaxed his hold so that he could look her in the face.

"Do you like my dress? It's a princess dress," she asked.

"I love your dress. You look just like a princess. I didn't know you were going to be here today."

Kendall's voice carried across the room, "Dak and Jett invited us."

James' head snapped up to find Kendall standing near the door with Jett. His heart stopped and then started beating so hard and fast that he was sure it was going to break out of his chest. Instinctively, his hands tightened on Lizzy, tucking her against his chest as Kendall met his eyes and then looked away. The man was nervous and unsure-there was no missing it, even from across the room-but James was sure that no one had ever looked better to him.

"How about we take the princess down so she can help up inspect the cake?" Jett suggested, but it was only when Dak took a step forward into his line of sight that James seemed to snap out of his trance.

At the mention of cake, Lizzy wiggled and James carefully set her back on her feet. As he straightened, Dak grabbed his shoulders and smiled. "The wedding is in ten minutes. If you're late, I'm sending my mother up to fetch you."

"Dak…" James whispered in a strained voice. He didn't know what to say. For the first time in his life, he was faced with a man he wanted and didn't know what to fucking do. Kendall had walked away from him twice now. He'd played all the cards he had in Denver, laid it all out for Kendall, and he still lost. What was he supposed to say?

"You got this," Dak murmured back, giving his shoulder a squeeze before dropping his hand to offer it to Lizzy."

"Are you Mr. Zevon?" the five-year-old asked, taking his hand.

"I am."

"I made you a wedding card. Would you like to see it? I put it on the table with your other gifts. Do you need help opening those? I'm very good at opening gifts."

Dak chuckled. "You know, I think Jett and I could use a hand with those."

James kept his eyes on Dak, Jett, and Lizzy as they left the room hand in hand and shut the door. And then he was left alone with Kendall.

Taking a deep breath, James lifted his chin and looked at Kendall. He looked good. Better than he wanted him to look. But then, he'd never seen Kendall in a dark, charcoal gray suit and sharp red tie. His hair was slightly styled and shadows under his eyes looked darker than when they'd been in Denver, but then Jo could have left him with more sleepless nights over her latest stunts.

And that's when it hit him. Kendall wasn't there for him. Jo had finally stepped over the line and he needed the name of the lawyer he was friends with who handled family cases. The hope that had started to bloom in his chest shriveled up, leaving his chest feeling painfully empty and hollow.

"If this is about Kelsea Stanton, you could have just texted me," James grumbled, shoving one hand into his pocket as he turned away from Kendall to look for his jacket. He had only a few minutes before the wedding, and he had no desire to be left alone in a room with Kendall longer than he needed to be.

"Kelsea Stanton? Who's that?"

"Family lawyer. I mentioned...before." He stopped and swallowed. He didn't want to talk about Denver. "I'm guessing that Jo is back and causing problems."

"Yes, Jo is back, but not causing problems. Well, at least not yet. But that's not why I'm here."

James froze as he reached for his jacket and looked over at Kendall to find the man staring at the floor, his hands opening and closing at his sides. When Kendall finally looked up at him, a nervous smile lifted one corner of his mouth.

"I really thought getting in to talk to you was going to be the hard part," he muttered.

"How _did_ you get in exactly?" James asked, dropping his empty hand back to his side.

"Dak and Jett. I managed to find the wedding announcement for them. I contacted Jett at his consulting business on Friday, who got me in contact with Dak yesterday, who had a few choice things to say before inviting me today. He promised I could have ten minutes with you."

James threw his arms out to his sides. "Well, you got your ten minutes, though I can't imagine what you want from me. You've made it clear both five years ago and less than a week ago that I don't have a place in your life."

"I want a do-over."

"What?" James squawked, his mouth hanging open for a second before he snapped it shut. He grabbed his jacket and gave it a hard shake. "I don't have time for this bullshit."

"I'm serious. I...I want to go back and try again."

"From a week ago-"

"No, five years ago." Kendall swore and took a step closer to James. "Just...bear with me for a few minutes."

"I think you're down to less than seven," James snarked.

"Fine. For six minutes, pretend it's that night outside my shop. Do you remember what you asked me?"

"Yeah. I asked you, "What the fuck is going on? Why are you avoiding my calls?' And you told me-"

"I know what I said," Kendall interrupted and swore again under his breath. He closed a little more of the distance between them and James could see that his hands were shaking. "What I _should _have said, what I really wanted to say that night, was, 'My ex is pregnant. I'm going to be a dad soon and I don't know what that means. I haven't the slightest clue as to how to be a dad. I don't remember mine and I'm terrified of fucking it up. Plus, my shop is struggling. If things don't turn around, I'm going to have to close it. How can I be a good dad if I don't have the money to take care of my kid?'"

A lump grew in James' throat as he looked at the man standing in front of him, more than five years older and wiser, but he could also see the young man struggling under the weight of trying to get his business running and figuring out what it even meant to run a business when he was suddenly thrown a massive curve ball-a baby.

And then there was James, demanding a place in Kendall's life that was thrown completely into chaos. They'd never talked about tomorrow or what they meant to each other. Every secret meeting had been couched in terms of fun and pleasure. No promises. No commitment.

If he cared for Kendall then he should have taken a chance, spoken up well before things became dire.

"I…" James paused and cleared his throat. "I would have told you that you've got nothing to worry about." Kendall snorted, but James pressed on. "I'm serious. I've never met anyone more responsible, more level-headed and driven, than you. You might not know what you're doing, but you'll figure it out. And even if the shop fails, you'll still figure it out and you will give your child the best life because she will never doubt whether she's loved."

Kendall lifted his shiny green eyes to his face and shook his head. "I would have told you that the thing that scares me the most isn't the baby or losing the shop."

"What-"

"I'm terrified of you waking up one day and realizing that you can do so much better. That you don't want to be stuck with some single-dad grease monkey who's still coming to terms with the fact that he likes dick."

"I would have told you that I'm not fucking going anywhere. I would have said that I think I'm falling in love with you and I want the chance to see if maybe you could love me, too."

Kendall pinched his eyes closed, his lips pressed into a hard, thin line as he dragged in a ragged breath through his nose. "Fuck, Jay. Five years...five years wasted. If I'd just told you the truth that night…"

James took the last few steps separating them, cupping Kendall's cheeks with both of his hands. "Then let's not waste any more time. No more pushing me away."

"My life is crazy. Lizzy, the shop, Jo-they're all pulling me in different directions."

"I know," James said, brushing his lips against Kendall's. "I'm not going into this blind. I love your brand of crazy. I love Lizzy. For you and her, I'll even learn to tolerate your ex."

He could feel Kendall's lips twitch against his as they started to pull into a smile.

"But you have to know that my family is crazy and, at times, evil," James continued. He paused for a second, gathering his strength for one last punch. "And you need to know that if we're in a relationship, we're out. I want to be in public together as partners. I want to go on dates with you and hold your hand where other people can see us. I want others to know that you're mine. We never did that before. I've always worried you'd have a problem with it."

Kendall leaned back just enough so that he could look James in the eye. "Does that mean I get to claim you as mine?"

"Yes," James replied, the single word coming out slightly broken in the back of his throat.

Sliding his hands around James' waist, Kendall pulled him close. "Then I'd be proud to be out in public with you. You're mine, Jay, and I want the world to know it. I want you in my life and I trust you with my daughter. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth. I'm so fucking sorry. I hurt you and I wasted all those years-"

James stopped his words with a rough kiss that allowed him to swallow down Kendall's moan of relief and pleasure. Kendall's strong arms wrapped tightly around him, one hand settling on his hip while the other grabbed his shoulder, pulling him in as if Kendall wanted to put James inside his chest next to his heart. Fisting his own hands in Kendall's soft hair, he slid his tongue along Kendall's. This was what he wanted. Not regrets or apologies. He wanted Kendall in his arms, on his lips, his moans in his ears. He wanted Kendall in his life forever.

Sadly, they only had a few seconds in each other's arms before the door was thrown open again.

"All right, boys. Let's bring it back down to a G-rating. We've got young eyes," called Dak's mother as she swept into the room. James looked up but didn't release Kendall as Annie entered followed by Jett who was holding Lizzy's hand as she skipped beside him.

"You're cruel, Mrs. Zevon," James teased. "I've waited five years for this."

"And you can wait one more hour," she countered, completely unperturbed. She walked over and placed one hand on each of their shoulders. "Kendall, dear, I'm sure you're a lovely man and I look forward to doing proper introductions, but if I don't get these boys married right now, they're going to slip away and get married by an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas."

"Mom, if Jett and I eloped," Dak called as he entered the room, "we'd have to leave the country. Otherwise, you'd track us down."

"Damn right I would," she replied with a wide grin.

James threw his head back and laughed while Kendall could only shake his head.

"Okay then. Let's get this wedding underway," James said then looked at Kendall. "Will you wait for me?"

"I'm not leaving this house without you." Kendall leaned in and gave James one last, quick kiss before releasing him. With a wink, he took Lizzy by the hand as he led her out of the room. Annie paused long enough to give James, Dak, and Jett one last kiss on the cheek before leaving as well.

Jett pulled on his jacket and buttoned it as he walked over to Dak. Jett had the same glow about him as he looked at his husband to be. "You ready to do this?"

"I feel like I've been waiting my whole life for this moment. I have never been more ready for anything. I love you."

"I love you, too," Jett replied, his voice growing rough. "See you down there."

As Jett left, James pulled on his jacket and straightened it before looking over at his best friend. "I'm happy for you."

Dak smirked as he tugged at his sleeves. "And it looks like I've got a reason to be happy for you."

"Yes, you do," James said before pulling Dak into another hug. "Thank you so much."

"Anytime, Jay. But fair warning, if he hurts you again, I'm going to kill him."

"Duly noted." James chuckled as they broke apart.

"Oh, and another warning." Dak cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows scrunching as if he were confused about something. "Kendall's daughter had Veronica looking for mistletoe. She was saying something about needing it so she can have two daddies."

James chuckled. "She's not going to need mistletoe to get that, but I really like where her mind is at. Let me see what Kendall and I can work out."

* * *

_Three Months Later_

"Keys!" Kendall shouted as he stomped out of the bedroom, dodging a stack of boxes in the hallway on his way to the living room. He'd be so happy when they finally got all the packing completed and the move over with, but that wasn't for another two weeks. He was tired of all the boxes. "Have you seen my keys?"

They needed to get on the road if they were going to make it to the game on time.

"Kitchen table," James called back. "You left them there when you got back from the shop."

Kendall pivoted on the balls of his feet and cut through the kitchen to find that James was, in fact, correct, because his keys were sitting right in front of his customary seat at the table in the small kitchen. He'd arrived home in time to find James and Lizzy sitting at the table, finishing up a healthy lunch before she darted off to get dressed for her soccer game.

Strong hands settled on his waist from behind before sliding up and across his chest, pulling him into a hug.

"Breathe," James whispered into his ear as he held Kendall. A long, slow sigh slipped from Kendall's parted lips as he let himself sink against James. The man had become his rock over the past three months. He was the steady, calming influence that he'd longed for without even knowing it.

Chaos seemed to lurk around every corner in Kendall's life, but no matter what blew up, what went wrong, James was always ready to jump right into the mix of things. He surveyed the situation with a critical eye and had a suggestion on how to tackle a situation when Kendall got flustered. He also learned quickly when to step back and let Kendall take the lead, ready to support him at every turn.

Together, they'd survived Jo's flighty weekend visits, Lizzy's bout with the flu that turned into Kendall's bout with the flu, gymnastics competitions, dance recitals, a sleepover at the aquarium, and a visit from James' mom when she'd demanded to know more about the man in James' life. They took turns cooking dinner and reading bedtime stories. Within their first week together, James copied Kendall's detailed schedule of events and appointments. He kept copies on his phone and in his planner at work. The man had even given a copy to his assistant so she could help keep him on target.

"Are you freaked out about this move? Like, at all?" Kendall murmured softly. He could feel more than hear James' answering chuckle.

"How could I freak out about having us all in one place with room to spread out a bit?" James said, pressing his nose into Kendall's hair. "I've been sleeping here more nights than at my own place. At one point, I had more of my clothes here than at home. I'd happily move in here with you and Lizzy if it would make you happier, but it'd be a bit cramped."

Cramped was an understatement. His apartment worked for him and Lizzy, but just barely. There was only one tiny bathroom, which meant that both him and James couldn't get ready at the same time in the morning. The closet in the master bedroom wasn't big enough to handle both James' and his wardrobes. And Lizzy's room was slightly better than a walk-in closet. They needed more space and he'd been intending to start looking for a new place before he started dating James.

When James had asked him and Lizzy to move in with him, it seemed like a perfect solution. They'd get more space since James had a three-bedroom house that was way too big for one person, and they'd be able to see each other each morning and each night. But it also meant that James wouldn't be able to escape them. He and Lizzy would always be underfoot.

"Are you sure you don't need your own space?"

James released him and stepped back so that Kendall could turn around. A small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth when he took in the bright green polo shirt with the name of Lizzy's indoor soccer team emblazoned across his left pec. It turned out that James had played soccer along with hockey all through high school and on an intramural team through college. When it came out that Lizzy's coach needed help with all the little girls, James immediately volunteered. Now they were a lean, mean goal-scoring machine.

"Is this too fast for you?" James asked, snapping Kendall's gaze back up to the man's worried face. "Do you want to hold off? Find a place for just you and Lizzy?"

"I...I just...worry…" Kendall struggled to find the words to tell James that it wasn't fast enough for him, but he was forcing himself to take it slow so that James could get accustomed, so that he could decide if this was what he really wanted. He didn't want to scare James away. He wanted James in his life forever, but to get that, he told himself that he needed to take it slow.

James' grin returned and the tension slipped away as his shoulders slumped. "That's what you're good at."

"Gee, thanks." But he couldn't argue. He was damn good at worrying.

James leaned forward and brushed his lips across Kendall's. "We're not moving fast enough. I know what I'm getting into and moving you into my house just puts you in my lair."

"Lair?"

"Oh yeah, move in with me, and you and Lizzy are going to be officially stuck with me."

"Never stuck. We're damn lucky to have you."

"You know I'd be here whether it's just hanging out with you on Saturday or making lunches and coaching soccer for a bunch of bloodthirsty little girls."

"So you don't mind that you went to that major meeting with the CEO last week with grape jelly on your tie?"

James snorted. "I told him I made lunch for a sweet little girl. He reminded me to flip my tie over my shoulder next time. He's got four kids and seen it all, he says."

"James-"

"Not. Going. Anywhere." James punctuated each word with a kiss. Then smirked. "Well, first we're going to soccer, but I'm not going anywhere without either of you."

"Good," Kendall said in a sigh of relief as he pulled James back in for another kiss. He would never get enough of his man, the feel of him in his arms, the taste of him as his tongue explored his mouth. Wrapping his arms around James, he pulled the man flush against him, his hands running down over his-

"Dad!" Lizzy snapped, sounding thoroughly exasperated as she came into the kitchen. They broke apart to find the little girl in her soccer uniform, shoes in each hand and a mutinous look on her face. "We have to go!"

"Sorry, Speed Racer," he said, reluctantly James. "Dad needed a kiss."

"You can get a kiss in the car. I don't want to be late."

"Then let's get moving," James said. He threw a wink at Kendall that held dirty promises for later that night and then he was following Lizzy into the living room so they could get their bags and coats.

Scooping up his keys and shoving them into his pocket, Kendall followed behind them, glancing at the calendar on the wall. He swore and then winced because he was usually better at censoring himself around his daughter.

"I forgot the drinks and the snacks for the team. We'll have to stop on the way to the sports center."

"Got it. Already in the car," James announced, holding up Lizzy's coat as she stuck her arms into the holes.

"But…"

"Got it," James repeated with a smirk.

"God, I love you," Kendall said with a heavy sigh.

James' head snapped up and he stepped in the middle of pulling on his own coat. He looked stunned by the words that had slipped from Kendall's lips. He hadn't meant to say it. Well...he hadn't meant to say it like _that_ for the first time. He'd certainly thought it plenty of times over the past several weeks. He'd wanted to wait, save the words for a romantic moment where it was just the two of them, when he could tell James exactly how much he meant to him.

But standing in his living room cluttered with toys, his daughter anxious to head to her soccer game, on a day filled with random errands and appointments before they finally collapsed in their bed that night exhausted, there wasn't a more perfect time. James just fit in his life, filling in all the holes and smoothing out the edges as if he were born to do it. And he just couldn't wait anymore.

A soft smile spread across James' face. "Love you too, Soccer Dad. Let's get the little one to the game. We can talk about this more tonight." He leaned over and quickly kissed Kendall before taking Lizzy's hand as they headed out the door.

Yeah, he was definitely looking forward to that "talk" and many more they would have over the years ahead of them.

* * *

**Done! So, they finally got their happy ending are a happy family!**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter and story in general, as well as if you happened to have any favorite parts/moments!**

**Again, I hope you all enjoyed! Thank you all so much for joining me on yet another ride. And Happy New Year! I have no idea what this year has in store, but I'm looking forward to it and hope that you all have an amazing year as well. :)**

**-Epically Obsessed**


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